Keep on fighting
It has been a bad 10 days or so, some dark thoughts.
My symptoms contined to get worse. My lesions in my brain are causing some symptoms. Getting confussed, harder to think things through. My legs are not as strong and get weak and tired quickly. Had to stop physio last Wed. That hurt. My bowels also started to act up. I was getting worried. When I talked to my physio she told me to talk to my doc about it. So I did and asked him to talk to my ms doc.
I was told last spring that I could not take the steriods more once/month. It will get to a point that the steriods stop working. It was only at the 3 week point. The steriods seem not to work as well this time. I seem to have enter a different catigory when the ms affected my breathing. I guess they want to keep me as good as can be and hope the chemo kicks in. It is suppost to work better at swelling then the steriods. To keep the symptoms down.
I started the steriods today 500 mg x 2 day x 3 days. I am hyper and can not sleep. It would feel good to have this energy but I am jittry, it is hare to sit still. One good thing is seems to be easier to read. Over the next couple of days I should get my movement back and some of the strength, I may even be back at physio, lets just see how much better I get, cross or fingers.
The dark thoughts that I have been having is about the chemo, well about stopping the chemo and letting what is going to happen; happen. But I am a fighter, it is not in me to give up. I talked it out with my phycologist and felt better. Some times we need a good cry.
That is the one symptom of ms I could do without, crying all of the time. They told me that crying or laughing at inapropreate times, they say it is where the lesions hit your brain. Not everyone understands, but what can you do about brain damage. (that just sounds so wierd) my Hubby who always trys to make me laugh said" I knew there had to be a reason you married me" He is a good one
So for the last 2-3 weeks I have been dealing with this and at the same time Bruce *(Hubby) is not doing well. He has heart failure, and COPD *(bad) he has been having heart pains and breathing problems to the point he is thinking of going to the hospital. He hates hospital so if he is thinking about going in he is bad .
He asked me about boarding our dog if he went in. It is to the point that we may have to get rid of him. I really do not want to do that, but if it get to the point, of being to hard for Bruce to take care of him what are we to do. But for now Bruce thinks it is good to have to take out our dog as it makes him move and get up when he does not want to. I will have to keep an eye on things. He is good company for him, so he is not alone. He has never lived alone in his whole life. While he does not mind it he does get lonely.
He sees his lung doc in 3 days so hopefully they can help him to breath easier and that makes his heart pains better.
My symptoms contined to get worse. My lesions in my brain are causing some symptoms. Getting confussed, harder to think things through. My legs are not as strong and get weak and tired quickly. Had to stop physio last Wed. That hurt. My bowels also started to act up. I was getting worried. When I talked to my physio she told me to talk to my doc about it. So I did and asked him to talk to my ms doc.
I was told last spring that I could not take the steriods more once/month. It will get to a point that the steriods stop working. It was only at the 3 week point. The steriods seem not to work as well this time. I seem to have enter a different catigory when the ms affected my breathing. I guess they want to keep me as good as can be and hope the chemo kicks in. It is suppost to work better at swelling then the steriods. To keep the symptoms down.
I started the steriods today 500 mg x 2 day x 3 days. I am hyper and can not sleep. It would feel good to have this energy but I am jittry, it is hare to sit still. One good thing is seems to be easier to read. Over the next couple of days I should get my movement back and some of the strength, I may even be back at physio, lets just see how much better I get, cross or fingers.
The dark thoughts that I have been having is about the chemo, well about stopping the chemo and letting what is going to happen; happen. But I am a fighter, it is not in me to give up. I talked it out with my phycologist and felt better. Some times we need a good cry.
That is the one symptom of ms I could do without, crying all of the time. They told me that crying or laughing at inapropreate times, they say it is where the lesions hit your brain. Not everyone understands, but what can you do about brain damage. (that just sounds so wierd) my Hubby who always trys to make me laugh said" I knew there had to be a reason you married me" He is a good one
So for the last 2-3 weeks I have been dealing with this and at the same time Bruce *(Hubby) is not doing well. He has heart failure, and COPD *(bad) he has been having heart pains and breathing problems to the point he is thinking of going to the hospital. He hates hospital so if he is thinking about going in he is bad .
He asked me about boarding our dog if he went in. It is to the point that we may have to get rid of him. I really do not want to do that, but if it get to the point, of being to hard for Bruce to take care of him what are we to do. But for now Bruce thinks it is good to have to take out our dog as it makes him move and get up when he does not want to. I will have to keep an eye on things. He is good company for him, so he is not alone. He has never lived alone in his whole life. While he does not mind it he does get lonely.
He sees his lung doc in 3 days so hopefully they can help him to breath easier and that makes his heart pains better.
Replies
Dear Kayce, you are really having more heaped on you than any person should. I\'m so glad you have such a loving, supportive husband. He truly is a keeper. I hope you can both start feeling better soon.
Gentle hugs, Linda