Keep going
I got so much done yesterday and today. I kind of got frozen in worker bee mode.. it can get compulsive.. I did everything I needed to do with fulfilling check lists and so on. I got home and had a very hard time relaxing. Like I had no way of turning off, no permission.
I thought about framing the question of what I want. I thought of everyone ‘out there’ getting all their tasks done and part of me would like to have nice things and live an abundant exuberant competitive life.
But then I thought what do I want in my feelings. I think my inwardness has me so listening to my body.
I kind of bent , psychologically, and was able to sleep realizing I can’t be the paragon of all those dreams I am using to think. I guess in a sense it’s me telling my bravado, ‘you need to live on a budget.’ I can do that. And i had a good nap.
Part of me has made peace with the solitary life I lead. Part of me feels that acceptance may be a form of avoidance. I will wait to talk to my doc about it on Tuesday.
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Steps and stages, ebbs and flows, rushed and slow…..
Don’t be so mired in defining it all, Markus! I mean, things can change and we are ALL going through the motion of life as we know it….working toward goals if we have them or working constantly on our mission statement in life. I’m sorry if that’s worded harshly- unintended.! I just think it can be easy to get lost in the atmosphere and not focused in on the steps that propel us through the atmosphere. It all comes and goes in waves.
Cleaning your place is good work! I want to do some deep
Cleaning and organizing. Trying a new recipe right now. I want to be a more inspired cook.
Hugs!!!
Thanks Nikki,.
I’ve been watching the English shows on pbs this afternoon. I think the reason why I like them, perhaps why I like the Anglican Church, is there is a great commonality about them. The shows aren’t flashy, they’re sort about the foibled common man and they make me feel good about my life or at least in good company. Americans go for the flash and the iconic. It’s all over TikTok where people pontificate and opine with recklessness and entitlement and it’s a thing that can lure you to feel bad.
Sorry Nikki I was logging on to add this last bit.. but I read your comment and thank you for it!:)
Yes, sometimes I can’t digest what’s popular in the USA. I personally feel like our lives arent filled with historical traditions and so we have this over the top culture instead.
Thanks Nikki have a good night!
I too struggle with that. I live a modest low paced life but at times I crave adventure and frivolity. I’m the end I am content with my life though I have no idea where it is leading me
thanks sunshine!