Just when I thought things were looking up...(long)

Where to start... Good news... I did figure some stuff out so now i can start working on getting my life on track...  Don't feel so stressed about that now.. But... My ex and I are, or at least were getting a lot closer again... And someone i thought was a close friend decided she has feelings for him and he didn't feel the same so she's making his life a living hell... And now a guy i have very strong feelings for and have for a while and i am very close to is mad at me for talking to my ex.. (even though he's made it clear he and I won't be more than friends...) And I am arguing with my mother constantly... Most of my friends don't even talk to me much anymore.. I'm losing everyone and all of the people i care about are constantly upset with me.. My anxiety is getting worse, all of the tornadoes and crap are stressing me out.. Which is strange cause i love the crazy storms here... I'm starting to lose myself again... Feel like I am falling apart... Getting more and more difficult to be strong and stay as positive as possible.. Can't think straight.. I constantly have what feels like 1,000,000 thoughts going through my head at once.. I can barely even speak anymore without screwing up 90% of what I say..  Seems Like I can't go one day without screwing everything up.. I'm feeling so lost.. I'm trying soooo hard to be strong and act happy... But I don't know how many more times I can do this.. Every single time I start thinking that everything will be okay... Everything goes wrong.. It's just such a major disappointment every time.. I can't keep doing this.. I do nothing but fuck up.. Maybe I am just a lost cause.. I am changing soo much.. Into someone I never wanted to be... The urge to cut gets stronger by the day... I keep thinking... Maybe it'd be best if I were not here.. Who would ever love someone as fucked up as me..? I feel so empty.. I have such a bad temper, which gets worse when I get anxious.. I might as well not be here.... I just make people miserable.... I just want it all to stop.. Just make it stop.....