Just When I Needed Them- Trigger

Last night I was down in the pits. I wanted to cut, I wanted to die, I wanted to cry and I couldn't. I went out with my friend because I didn't want to be alone and I couldn't even work up the energy to be interested in anything. I sat staring out the bus window the entire ride home and despite it being about 100 degrees out I was covered in goosebumps. All I could think about was how much I wanted to just bleed and cry but I held firm- I was not going to self harm. Out of nowhere my mum called and we spoke for a few minutes. Then my pastor and three of my cousins checked in on me- they know about my BP. It was so moving and so perfectly timed. They strengthened my resolve to not cut because I promised them I'd try. Eventually I had myself a good cry and it seemed to be just what I needed. I went right to bed afterwards. I'm not out of the pits yet but I'm not as low as I was last night and I'm sure it had a lot to do with knowing they care.