just took my xanex

well, her i am again. i just took my nightly xanex. will feel beter in a little while i hope. its getting late here. i wish i felt better. i dont know how to act, i can get on this all i want to, but none of my friends are on now, of course. im going over my talk whith boyfriend, i think i was the crabby one, and it made him crabby. that does happen alot. we are so different, i dont know how we ever made it this long. we are the odd coouple. see, im doing it again, going over everything that i might have done wrong and baliming myself again, as ussuall. oh well, maybe i will appaligize for being crabby, then maybe he will do the same, ya thats happening. see im doing it again... why why why? cant wait to go see a counseler. i need so much help. dont know anything anymoore. cant think strait at all. my life realy sucks right now. so uncertain about everything. im so glad he has all the answers. wish i coud just talk to him and tell him how i feel. maybe some day i can. will talk to counseler about it. thats wene i get the nerve to go there. so scared of the hyway.... ok, later....