Just too tired
I am so tired of working on my stuff. I've been seeing a counselor for over 4 year straight. I just feel like I've had enough. I know I have a tone of things to work on still and I know that avoiding them will not help. I cannot explain my feelings...I just want to quit. I do not know if it's the depression talking or another personality or simply me. I just feel like I've been running a marathon and I'm done. I do not know what to do. Should I call my counselor to cancell my appointments for this week or do I need to go in because that's what I need the most? Maybe, I'll just call her and explain what's going on. I just donnot want to do this any more. I'm so confused and tired :(
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Well, I just got off the phone with my counselor. She\'s concerned that I\'m pulling back into isolation because she noticed that I was not in church on sunday. We go to the same church. She\'s afraid that I am giving into depression. Maybe I am. Maybe I am afraid to work on my stuff because one of my personalities came out at our last session and this personality has been in hiding all this time. Maybe i am afraid to face up to more trauma. I told her that I was done working on my stuff. She said we all are working on our selves and will be till the Lord comes or we go home to Him. I don\'t know what to do. I have until 3:00 today to let her know because she needs to know 24 hours ahead of our scheduled appointment.
Am I giving up? Am I opening a door for the enemy? Am I giving up on life? Perhaps, I am just so tired of living this life and feel like I\'m not getting anywhere. I feel like my life has no meaning. Where is my passion for things? I feel so empmty inside. I know what the scripture says..\"Anyone who calls upon the name of the Lord shall be saved.\"
Ok Lord here I am. I am hesitating to call upon You. Show me Lord, if I am in trouble here or just tired and need a break? Help me do the right thing.
I think you should go to your appointment and just make it a lighter session without real deep work. You could use the time to talk about the feelings you are expressing here. I can relate to being tired of it all as I have felt that way lately myself. You are really fortunate to get therapy at all--I haven\'t had any in a while due to finances and I miss it.
You are probably right Steve. I think I might be scared of dealing with some deeper issues. Perhaps talking about that fear might help. Sometimes I wish I was normal, if there is such a thing. Anyway...Thanks I\'ll keep your insight in my thoughts.
sometimes taking a break can be a good thing. What about extending appointments to every other for a while? On the other hand, avoiding appointments can be a sign that you are close to a breakthrough and need the courage to go forward. Sorry for having no real answer.