just thinking
While at work today I was confronted by a painful memory
and for the mindset that I was in - it made me look at certain relationships
with a greater respect.
I drove home contentedly. I felt like I had a smaller view of the world - just more
around my personal orbit rather than whatever philosophical greater worldview that I can slip
into -
Again I felt content listening to music and not the usual invasive thoughts when behind the wheel. Then I arrived home and was so happy to see Blue waiting for me
at the top of the stairs. It's amazing his sense of time or his sense of routine (very often if I stay up later than usual he will stare at me to put his glass of water in place and do the night time routine.)
I felt a great insight into Blue and more aware
I felt respect -
I ate lunch and then I took a shower and got dressed - in the meantime I thought about a past relationship
and looked at my pudgy physique in the mirror - slowly I started to unravel a bit -
as I dressed I was hearing voices- and then thought to myself ok "Stabilize"
I thought about what I had thought about initially when going to work -
how I have my routines of activity and mindset that motivate me to get to work
and to take care of my day - much in contrast to how my view was when I was
on vacation - taking my affirmations and motivations from different stuff.
So I thought to think about that idea in this current moment of needing to stabilize.
What was I needing - what do i usually do when I'm alone???I thought -
then I threw in a load of laundry - I knew I liked to keep a tidy home - and clean as I go -
I then thought about how I am expected somewhere later today - and that's really wonderful
to have that in my life- where I am expected by others to be somewhere -
I thought about venturing forth to the monastery for a greater length of time -
and this community where I will know there's a time to do things and a time to be certain
places... I wonder if that will be part of my growth there? I will learn like now of having things
in my life that are affirming and routine. These things really kind of hold me together
and keep me conscious and awake to my mind - So now I will finish doing the laundry
and get on with additional points of taking care of chores. After that - I'll make a phone call.
Replies
after spending some time just doing chores I realize my task for my days just takes one more step of a cognitive leap.
All those affirmations that I need in life - could be focused on taking care of my life and the relationships
in my life. I so see how the monastery for me could be like a 'prefabricated house' (with all due respect.)
Everything is 'built in' so to speak - you have to make it work too -but here in the outside world, my charge (my personal charge) is much the same as if I were living there. To take care of the relationships and responsibilities for self and others in my life so that all is well taken care of, a 'well tended garden' : ).
Hola Marc,
Isn’t it interesting how cats have their little routines. I was reading how you said Blue will come & stare at you & wait for his glass of water if you're staying up late & it made me laugh. Baby is the same way. I had a migraine last night so had trouble sleeping all night so I finally slept a little during the day.... but I was sleeping today during the time that I usually give Baby his wet food so he started jumping all around my bed. When I sat up & said ‘Hi Baby! come here, lol he jumped out of the bed & ran over to where his food is & stared at it. I don’t know it was funny & kinda cute. So I got up & looked & it was the time I usually give him the wet food, I went & got it & he was all happy. So I think my cat (especially today) has more of a routine than I do lol.
Sorry I’m prob rambling here having my coffee.
I hope you’re having a relaxing time by the time I’m writing this
Big hug <3
thanks lilmissy! that's so funny!! It's true I think animals have a sense of time and routine - I think they are much smarter
if non verbally than we give credit or know of. It's wonderful to have a pet!! Good night and peace!