Just taking it one day at a time.

I am just here doing me and thinking about me everyday. My relationship with Joseph is opening up to a knew page and I am learning new things about him. Some of them being he has some things that still linger from his recovery. He is a very shy guy and reacts like me when I get shy, just fussy and angry. I dont like my card to be pulled it makes me so shy and I blush really hard.  But Yea... Knowing Joseph on a deeper level is great! I have been seeing Tony here and there. I pay him visits periodically to see how his recovery is going and because we have been friends for 11 years so I want to make sure he is healthy and doing okay. He still asks questions about my relationships and I just ignore him. I dont give him the satisfaction of a yes or no. He doesnt like to make up his own opinions either so he just suffers inside. But I keep it cool with Tony making sure I dont fall back into loving and controlling too much. I havent spoke with Jay in a while. Although me and Jay have been friends for 6 years, he said one time that he only sees me as an ex girlfriend. I was pist because I always saw him as a friend and how can you be with someone for that long and and say yea you guys are friends and when you dont get what you want we arent friends??? Anyways... Its good I dont have to play games anymore with Jay and my life still keeps living and my days couldnt be happier. Later on I will work on Jay and things will be okay. I havent spoken to Alex since the last journal entry. She hasnt called me either and Im sticking to what I feel and starting to think maybe she wasnt the best for me. I think about it sometimes and it gets to me but my life doesnt need to feel that way. I am reassessing and resetting myself and sometimes people will break off at that stage. I am ready and willing because this isnt just for anyone, THIS IS FOR ME!! Zee is still Zee. She invites me here and there. Hang out here and there. I understand why Zee and me are so chill. She is exactly like me. We just know each other so well we can do shit and the other knows what it is and its not all drama-ish. Just catch you on the rebound and thats that.   I am doing a goal update as well. I am trusting and validating the way I feel. I have gotten other advice from others and I have taken them into consideration to make sure I am looking at all sides equally. I know in my heart I dont want to feel this way anymore and I TRUST I know what to do with my feelings now.   Trusting that I know what I want to do is validating myself and thats what my goal is all about. SCORE ONE FOR THE GOOD GUYS!!!