JUST TAKE WHAT COMES???

THIS IS MY GAL PAL, NATALIE AT HER BIRTHDAY PARTY, NOTE SHE IS WEARING A BIRTHDAY GIRL RIBBON. SHE IS DOING THE RIVER DANCE SITTING DOWN. IT WAS A HOOT!!!! MONICA DID IT STANDING UP AND IN 3 INCH HEELS AND THE DUMBASS PUT HER BACK OUT. WE AIN'T AS YOUNG AS WE USE TO BE BUT WE JUST DON'T GET THAT FACT. WE KEEP TRYING TO ACT 20 SOMETHING AND OUR BODY PROTESTS!!! OH, WELL, WE ARE STILL YOUNG IN MIND AND SPIRIT.
WELL, IT HAS BEEN ALMOST FOUR WEEKS AND NO WORD FROM MY DAUGHTER. SHE IS EVEN HIDING HER COMMENTS ON FACEBOOK. I AM NOT LOOKING FOR HER ON FACEBOOK IT'S JUST THAT WHEN I GO THERE I USUALLY SEE A POSTING FROM HER. SO....I AM NOT SURE WHERE I SIT WITH THIS WHOLE THING. ON ONE HAND, I KNOW THAT I AM FAR BETTER OFF NOT HAVING CONTACT BECAUSE THERE WILL BE DRAMA AND SHE WILL PULL ME INTO HER WEB AGAIN!! BUT ON THE OTHER HAND, MY MOTHER'S INSTINCT CLICKS IN AND I WONDER/WORRY IF SHE IS OKAY. SHOULD I CALL OR EMAIL HER ETC......I KNOW IN MY LOGICAL MIND THE ANSWER IS NO, ABSOLUTELY NO CONTACT BUT THEN THE OTHER SIDE HAS TIMES WHERE MY RESOLVE WAIVERS. I NEED TO BE STRONG!! EMOTIONALLY AND MENTALLY, AW HELL, PHYSICALLY I AM A WRECK!! I AWAKE EACH DAY HOPING AND PRAYING THAT TODAY WILL BE THE DAY THAT I FEEL BETTER AND EVERYDAY I AM DISAPPOINTED. MAYBE THE ANSWER IS NOT TO HAVE ANY EXPECTATIONS AND JUST TAKE WHAT COMES, GOOD OR BAD. I AM TRYING MY BEST TO RECOVER BUT THIS ONE HAS REALLY SLAMMED ME TO THE MAT.
I HAVE 2 APPOINTMENTS TODAY, HAIR AND NAILS. THEN NATALIE IS COMING FOR A VISIT. AT LEAST AT THE NAIL APPOINTMENT AND WITH NAT IF I BREAK DOWN THEY UNDERSTAND.
I AM STARTING NUTRISYSTEM TODAY. THE BIG BOX ARRIVED YESTERDAY. I'LL GIVE THIS A TRY AND SEE IF IT WORKS.
WELL, I BEST CLOSE FOR NOW BEFORE THIS BECOMES A SHORT STORY. DEBBIE

Replies

Shelly4
Shelly4

Oh wow Deb, I sooooo understand how you feel. I have been and am currently in the same position. The difference is that Michael has talked to me and it has been cordial. When I dont hear from him for a week I kind of freak and have his brother call him just to see if he is okay, lol.

We have to be tough and that is damn hard as a parent and especially as a mother. Please dont make yoursel sick over this..(easier said than done). I am so sorry that you are struggling so much with this. That pain is worse than any other I have ever experienced.

Honestly, I am sure her reason for the secrecy is just to bait you. It is their way of getting back at us out of anger. Mine have done he same thing. I remember when I had a \"falling out\" with my oldest. He blocked me on facebook, ugh.

Give this to the Lord for now and trust that He will take care of it. All your worry and depression WILL NOT change what happens or what she chooses. Since Michael has left (he says I kicked him out) he got a great job making $18 an hour, he is livig in a house with another guy and he seems to be getting his stinken life together. Sometimes it takes that \"tough love\" and it is tougher on us than them.

Hang in there, you are in my thoughs and prayers girl...xo
deleted_user
deleted_user

Sorry we are still in the same boat. I just hope it doesn\'t sink. I am trying hard as you are too. It is so hard to fake it. It was 52 degrees today and I didn\'t even go out and I have been waiting for it to get warm for so long. It is really cool that you have good friends so close to you. They sure can give you a lift or just be there for you. I hope you overcome the desire to make contact with your daughter till you are at least feeling better. I know sometimes it is hard. The birthday party looks like it was fun. You always have good eats around. I have to work tomorrow so you will have to paddle the boat. Love you Naomi xo