Just some ramblings...
Well decided I might as well try journaling in here since I know it's good to write sh*t down and I don't do well at just writing consistently in a regular paper journal...so geez......what do i start out with?? Today? Yesterday? 40 yrs ago? lol Yeah, today...feeling ok, kinda blah, kinda restless, friggin changes many times throughout the day. Slept better last night then i have the last couple weeks. Took 2 300mg. of Melatonin, that definitley helped!! I get tired..I go to bed...I toss and turn...my mind goes a million miles a minute...just sux. I take Ativan occasionally but i don't want to use that too much. I'm curious as to if E-Sam or Valerian would work better for me. It's not that I'm looking for a cure all pill, but dang a little help would be nice. Sometimes I think I must not be wired right as to why have such weird thoughts and feelings, some ain't so off the wall as lots of others have my same feelings, but none the less, I think maybe it's somethin in my brain ya know? A chemical thing. Been feeling more depressed and dissasociated the last month or so, think that's due to the weather and most defenitly the death of my friend/companion this past Oct. She was with me through thick and thin, even live or death situations, and lots of goods times too, for the past 15 yrs. I loved her with all my heart and not a day passes that i dont think about her and the tears come to the surface....again..damn it...on to somethin else. Think that's all for right now...gonna go do dishes and think happy thoughts....turn on the radio and jam to my housework!!
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