Just one of those days...

I can't seem to catch a break. today at work i got the wonderful news that our baby was missing a chromosome and that is what went wrong. Then my insensitive doc went on about how common it is, encouraging me to try again and just a bunch of garbage! Then I get to hear two co workers talking loudly about how pregnant she is and feeling the baby kick and I just want to cry right then and there. Then, to add more salt to the open wound I find out my boss might be pregnant. She just started trying, smokes and even though she thinks she might be pregnant- she is still smoking!!! Where is the justice in any of this?? I try for now 2 years, have two miscarriages, get no real reasons why it is happening and have to morn in silence because no one at work knew. I just want to crawl into a little bubble and never come out! I mean I spent my entire 45 minutes bawling my eyes out.
My husband helped. He came home knowing I was having such a bad day, had dinner ready and then surprised me with two little stuffed animal dogs. I love him so very much it was hard telling him the reason why we lost our little one. I compiled two books, one for each, of poems about missing my little one. I decided to create a box for each with all the memories and things I had compiled for each. I had started to write books from the moment I found out I was pregnant to the day I lost them. I am going to put those books in the boxes and then I need to put the boxes away till maybe one day I will be able to look at them again. I just had a very bad day today.

Replies

ash17
ash17

I am sorry you had a bad day. When I get those bad days I try to stay postive and think that I am one day closer to having a good day. I was told that was most likley the reason why I lost my little one. I think that is a wonderful idea, creating those boxes.*HUGS*
deleted_user
deleted_user

I don\'t understand why doctors think that tell you that there was or probably was a chromosone problem somehow makes us feel better. I want my son I don\'t care in the least if he would have had a disablity.
I\'m sorry that you had such a bad day. Dealing with other people\'s pregnancies is so hard.
A memory box is a great idea! The hospital gave us one after the delivery. It took me a few weeks to put his things in it and put it on the shelf in the livingroom. It sits next to his cousins pictures.
I wish I could tell you that it gets better but I\'m not there yet either. Warm thought coming your way.
deleted_user
deleted_user

Big hug to you, hun.