just numb

I went up for a visit tonight.  Pure hell is the best way to describe it.  His attitude is back acting like he doesn't care.   I just don't know what to do.  I know he's where he needs to be but he is resisting the help. He's acting like it's all just a joke, like the rest of us are not hurting.  Saturday he was good now he's back to what got him there & I just don't know. He wrote me a letter told me that he's sorry, he loves me and knows how good he has it at home but then tells his girlfriend that it's not that long of a stay, even if they add time to it (it's a 10-20 day min). I love him and want him to come home but not with the attitude and getting violent when he gets mad.   Is it possible to lose the ability to have feelings?  I think I have,  I don't feel anything anymore.  I'm here & do what I have to do to "live" but I'm just going through the motions not really  feeling/living. This emotional rollercoaster has taken a toll on me and I need to get off. Right now I just want everything to be over. Yes I know that drinking isn't the answer but think I'm  gonna have a few,  listen to my newest download "Maggie Rose BETTER" (love the song) & call it a night