just not sure anymore
so i have been abused all my life got out of a abusive relationship of 14 years 6 years married got out april 2011.now i have a new guy-think i might have jumped the gun now today he is telling me he is ashamed and embarrased to be seen in public with me i am heavier than his past girlfriends and i am the only one he has dated with mental health issues borderline personality disorder and sometimes cut if i am unable to cope with the stressors i have i was also sexually abused in june 2011 not making things any easier what he said today is exactly what my x-husband said so i am feeling totally miffed rejected picked on INSULTED.so i am 170 lbs there is a HUGE obesity factor in my family i am working on it but genetics are against me i know i am a good person and pretty comfortable with my appearance i stopped being obsessed with how people look at me is it worth it to try and please other peoples standards of beauty i got other things to be stressed over to be honest i try to look at what a person is like on the inside i am getting tired of my constantly giving second chances heck a million.i do all the cooking and he doesnt seem to like anything i cook but he doesnt want to do it himself yells that i dont clean enough he has ocd and perfectionist issues so i gave up is it wrong of me to want him to do dishes after i spend an hour or more cooking i am soo frustrated and angry.
Replies
Hell i\'m in major pain and usually do most of the vacuuming, and i\'ll jump in there and do dishes if the wife is out and about. I even cook the meals sometimes, it\'s not rocket science. If he has ocd you could say to him that you know he\'ll get those dishes clean lol. I hate to say this darling but it sounds like more misery for you from this one. All my best Blaine
i do the cooking he even asks when I am going to make supper and what i am making.i was always taught that the cook doesnt do the dishes my grandmother would make dinner and have someone else do the sdishes cuz she would be on the war path if she had to do the dishes after making turkey for x-mas the vaccuum is broken in need of a new belt i check the mail i bring out the trash i do the bathroom and mopping for crying out loud he is 53 he is not a baby then he tells me i dont do nothing he just sits on his duff playing farmlville all day he reminds me of my fathers attitude towards women barefoot ,pregnant do as men say or get beaten complete servant i just want to be treated like an indepent person who has a mind of her own.blaine i am thinking of saving up some money and moving back to duluth(mn) i did not need to get rides to the doctor i can take a bus things are way easier to access and people actually give a nod and smile to acknowege you and a way of saying hi not snotty stuck ups and people are worried about the basic needs food shelter water heat clothes on your back everything else is a bonus it may be a simple way to think but it is true.so i am getting sick of him the ashamed and embarrased thing hurts then he tries to put it all back on me somehow.the man just doesn\'t think.and seems to be getting worse i really dont need his shit and despite that he tells me i know i can\'t make it on my own he is digging himself a hole with me pretty soon he will fall in and i will split i have wasted enough of my time
putting others before myself at my expense.i am a fighter i am german on my grandma\'s side and irish on my grandfathers side we dont bow down to nobody so i will be making some calls to see of i can get some help i did not want to believe he would be this way to me he was the caretaker of a church and lived there for 10 years no rent i think i need to be single again to focus on me not worry what cruel thing he will say next especially when i am in a good mood he just has to ruin it i am sorry to be complaining so much i am just trying to keep my composure this is where i come to vent.did you make that apt for the sit down?let me know how it goes ok best of luck to you and you are a good person for helping your wife out with things wish there were more men like that in the world :)