just kinds of notes from the pockets of my mind
the world that I inhabit...
I went to a luncheon today and the people there were family
but we were all really different
I realized we all had things about our lives that we liked
that we thought was special
that had our individual sense of taste and culture to them
and yet we all came together - and we talked about work
and all that difference kind of melded and we talked over each other
and at each other
and to each other
and there was kind of a commonality and magnanimity that I determined
to see - not idealized but
once I came home to be on my own - that pressure to have the world on my own that
I find and found pleasure and my taste in - came crashing down as pressure on me
and I need again to find distraction to somehow cope with my life.
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the following day now, I went and saw my Brother for his birthday -
and he encouraged me to write and use my writing to create a book.
It really dawned on me the last few days and today - that I really need to find
some essence of growing towards fighting for myself - and maybe what I like etc... in life
When it comes down to it - to finally dealing with my life on my own terms I can
be so flimsy - and kind of uninspired to fight for my life - and yet now
I see, amongst all the other tastes and proclivities out there- I need to find for my
I see, amongst all the other tastes and proclivities out there- I need to find for my
own professional life - it's important and I think I can do it. I can throw myself at a job
but I think I can also fight for what I like to do and want - with that sense of commonality.
I seem to be recognizing when on my own now - creeping feelings of no self worth or
even a negativity creep up on me. I can see it now and I can counter act that kind
of inclination intuition whichever you want to call it. I am better able to give myself the green light to go for things I want and not believe those feelings that tell me no :)
Replies
Wow, your brother said the same thing as I. WRITE A BOOK.
Also.... take note, you said you came home and it came crashing down in you.
I really think, emotionally... a Dog would really help you.
Many breeds to choose from. But.... Saving a life at the animal shelter is pretty wonderful too. Plus.... mixed breeds are often healthier.
Good luck buddy...
thanks SEAMUS!!!! :) I am going to go check out pups sometime this week. Peace!!
+1 to a companion animal and writing. Really great ideas marko... but go with what is in your heart :D
I think writing a book is a good idea, and it would give you something to do on a regular basis that might help with your depression. Once again, I think a pet would be a good idea. They do cost money, though, so make sure you have the money for food and vaccinations and such.