just kind of a recap of the day

I realize I have said this over the course of today before but I really just needed to write about it again


before I turn in. I may feel tender and a little messed up, fractured and off - but so it goes:


-----------------------


It's weird but I was feeling such positivity yesterday

and then this morning too. I had an upsetting thought sometime

this morning and it threw me off. It sent me from a place of 'potential for the day'

to a real sense of wanting to 'hide and feeling stressed.'

 

I realize though that even if my mindset is a little off I need to process my emotions

and try and keep at life rather than just keep alone and feel stressed by it.

I have this week off for a vacation week, so I am doing fun things at least I am trying to.

 

I called off going to yoga earlier - I got there and couldn't muster going in - 

 

but then I went to a movie which was nice ..which I knew I could follow through with. I am just realizing that it's real important to

try and process my feelings as they happen - rather than just react to them and feel stressed.

 

It's really weird how when I feel vulnerable after an upsetting splintering

it can cause me to clamp down and isolate - and stressed 

but I realize I have to process things

 

and I know it may be hard to do it alone - to process alone but I realize I can - 

and this is a part of living alone and I still must do that

and also make plans and keep busy...Step back and decide what I am going to do 

and do it - even so.

 

---

sorry I know this is a repeat - and arfie, Jan and becky thanks very much for being supportive and encouraging

I couldn't have done today without you - but it's like you have given me wings or reminded me how to use them.

OK - beddy bye time. Good night guys!!

Replies

arfie
arfie

If it is weird to feel vulnerable and want to isolate after an upsetting splintering, weird has finally become normal. I thought it was weird at one time, then I opened my eyes and realized that is not only normal, it is a hard wired part of the survival instinct. Even my dogs and chickens feel it.

Give yourself some positive affirmation for surviving a tough day. Tough days happen, even on vacay. Ya done good, my questioner.
malibumark
malibumark

thanks arfie