Just keep swimming.

Well the estrogen patch is a no go for me. I can't handle it for some reason. It made me really agitated. I'll just have to learn to manage the hot flashes. My anxiety continues though. Now I'm trying to combat it by napping throughout the day. So not a good idea. It'll make my insomnia worse. I saw my p doc Thursday and my t doc Friday. I feel like they are not taking my anxiety seriously enough. I told them both about cracking my knuckles and digging my nails into my arms. I guess this is ok? 
 
 I also don't get why I need to try doxepin for sleep. My mom said it's because I told my p doc my trazodone only works 90% of the time and he wants me sleeping better than that. I also asked about the depakote and he said he doesn't want me on it if it makes me feel too tired. I really think I need a mood stabilizer but he doesn't think so. 
 
I do know that I'd like the intense dreams to stop. They aren't really nightmares just very intense and vivid. And always about something or someone from my past. A lot of them are about high school or work. John will wake me up while he's getting ready for work and it's like I'm stuck in the dream. I literally had to repeat that's not real a few times before I got out of the dream. It's such an awful feeling.