Just keep messing up - TRIGGER WARNING

I'm sat at my parents house & struggling not to cry. I don't want my son to know I'm upset.

I feel useless & just seem to screw everything up & upset everybody.

I wish I didn't have any feelings. Yet my therapist wants me to get in touch with my feelings and deal with them. But I just seem to hurt everyone around me.

I wonder why I try things end up the same everyone ignores me or leaves me ... Everyone would probably be better off if I wasn't here.

I cried by the car & been to the bathroom 3 times to cry, I wanna cry again now. The last time I was in the bathroom I started fantasising about cutting my wrist & watching the blood drain into the plug hole ... Would anyone actually notice?

I had a nightmare last night, only got a couple of hours sleep. I seem to have upset everyone around me.