just have to vent a little

I am having trouble keeping my mind engaged and when that happens I tend to hear voices.


I am shrugging it off - trying to -and capitulating to my need to talk about my feelings. I can't deny that at least once a day I need to reflect in order to cope and move forward. It's just gotta be a 'built in' activity that I will have amongst other things that I will do with my day. I don't know if I really like it - I just have got to do it.


I realize I need to carry myself through - with all the negative and positive feelings I've got - and keep on


the responsibilities and schedule that I keep. I know it's what we all do when I come on here and read about


everybody managing life. I kind of went to a place of thinking in terms of having down time and choices - and then I tried to evaluate or choose what I would do with myself - HOW would I handle the situation of


being alone or having unscheduled time or a need of some kind. I think I kind of went to a place of judgement - a pinnacle of format - but I realize I can't really do that. At least I try and understand my place in the world


as I move in the day - waking - working - alone time - going to sleep. Having my routine and schedule...And all these situations I have, dealing with my time, with myself in order to keep workable. I may have some answers - but always new answers will be needed to be found somehow. I know each day asks for a new answer and so I am just getting comfortable 


with that. With all these writings, as I said, I am finally asking myself "What am I trying to achieve?"


I think I might be looking for a pretty picture as the answer sometimes - but in a nutshell :) I think

Keeping workable is dynamic and not always just a pretty answer - I kind of need to back it up and recognize that I have my tools and answers to help me manage myself - in other words keep workable.

So, that's where I am at right now. 

 

I hope you guys are doing ok.. Peace be with you on your walk through today!

 

 

Replies

malibumark
malibumark

Question: When you guys have to find something to do with your day, to change course like that... do you guys
get a little anxious? It sounds maybe simple and silly....I kind of need to see it for what it is.
beckyp
beckyp

I have anxiety just thinking about going to a place, alone, where people are. My safe place is home. Maybe you could start looking at your apartment as your safe place.
malibumark
malibumark

Thanks Becky!!
arfie
arfie

Nope, I don't get a *little* anxious when I have to change course midstream and/or navigate from my gut instinct. A get a humongous lot anxious. Take a therapy break or go ballistic anxious. Notify the public safety officials anxious.

Girl howdy I wish I had a more mellow disposition. . . Mas suspiros. . . If wishes were horses, the streets would be full of shit.

Good thing I got up off my washy wishes far enough to collect up some therapy tools to manage the phenom through more than just wishing, huh? The tools work if I work them and I am worth it. And keeping up my journal is a critical tool in that toolbox. I wouldn't call it, "Fun," but it helps me keep the strictly personal psych inventory more cognizant so I have some clues which tools to carry into my day. It's not about winning a Pulitzer Prize.
malibumark
malibumark

Thanks Arfie!!!
Deckard
Deckard

I need a routine I think. I have been free forming it for a long time. I don't go out of the freaking house some times. I am working on a routine. I have had my anxiety redline. I would make a shitty poker player. My bed room is my safe place.