just gathering around you guys

I had a long day - and though I got mucho done - I feel very unwound now.

Unwound in the sense that my mental variability has me feeling like I need

help. I called and left a voicemail for my therapist :) - and now I am coming

to be with you guys and to relate to the struggles amongst us.

I think I so used the 'we' perspective in my writings because my identity has been so variable

due to my schizoaffective disorder that I have really tried desperately to find

some reassurances externally from feeling so isolated and alien-like

in the face of putting my head above the water line of life (undeveloped even)

- my brother in law who is french said that where he came from if you stuck your head up above the crowd- someone

was liable to chop it off....and so maybe it's been a safety net for me to 

look for general wisdoms - safe bankable (odd word) truths and understandings

that helped me feel on track and encouraged.  Anyways - I hope that helps you in your struggles

with the ideas I put out there Arfie.

Right now I am doing well enough - lonely, troubled, tired - but mostly just

tired and feeling so much the better for having reached out to you guys..

in the 80s I used to talk on the phone with friends for hours. Teenagers! Really crazy- 

I haven't had a long conversation in a long long time.

Anyways - I'll go ahead and look what's up on the feed.

Have a good night...sweet slumber and peace and hugs!! (my fav) :)