Just checking in...
Just checking in to the site tonight . . I've been thinking today about how when I don't gamble things seem more orderly in my life.. it just plain feels different. My mind is not as scattery and preoccupied I guess with thinking about what I've done that I shouldn't have, things that should have been done in the house or otherwise that didn't get done. I'm feeling like I have way more TIME than I used to but then again I would be at the casino for hours and hours on end. I remember one time that I of course overstayed and I was supposed to pick up my dog from the groomers by 3:00. Well, I kept "not leaving" and "not leaving" until there was very little time left - and no $$.. So . . there I am running into the parking garage and I had no idea where I had parked my car umpteen hours earlier... so I felt very frantic. A - I couldn't find the car; B - I was going to be in trouble if the place closed and I hadn't gotten the dog; then things really got weird - as I was running on the sidewalk my sandal broke :] and when I went to find my cell phone to call the groomer it "powered down" (batt low) in the parking garage. Okay - so I was doing what I wasn't supposed to be doing in the first place and I felt so much anxiety and so alone... I didn't really know what I was going to do. Luckily, a lady and her daughter were leaving and rolled down the window to help me; they let me use their cell phone to notify the groomer... I was so thankful and still remember how sweet they were to me... I guess they knew the "frantic look" and the pie-eyed appearance of one who had spent way too much time there. What a day... talk about stressed out. I hadn't actually told anyone that story, but now I have. Hope everyone is having a great GF day!Hugs,Smokeygirl
Replies
I look at your story and think of similar things I have experienced....running late because I just couldn\'t leave until the voice screaming in my head to leave finally drowned out the call of the machines....
So glad I\'m not gambling today....what a nightmare those days became...
Love ya, Dianne
Wow - the life of a CG - always panicked, nervous and anxious- late for things, yucky feeling in my tummy - oh I know those feelings well. I too was like you and tried to cram all the things I was meant to do in no time at all - things just didn\'t seem to go my way.
Today you were reminded of the scattered mind of a gambler - is life better for you now you have stopped??? It sure is for me and the best is yet to come. Hugs for today Suzi
WOW what an experience I know all those feelings of CG and hate all of them.....I am still fighting the urges and trying to keep those moments green in my mind so I can not go back because it is easier when you are GF....so inspired by your story...thanks for the read and good work ODAAT......God Bless
Yes, it IS better when I\'m not gambling.. I\'ve had my relapses like all of us and the contrast is there, for sure. Things just run smoother; almost feel like somehow we are being rewarded for taking the right path and then when we go back to the old ways, we are punished. (that sounds awful - let\'s just say \"not rewarded\" with good things. Have a great day, Suzi! Thanks for being such a great support to me. Hugs, Smokeygirl