Just babbling... Maybe under 300??
Things have been going well... After a couple weeks of scheduling conflicts, I am back to seeing Kelli, my counselor. I think I am making progress. For sure digging up some old stuff that is hanging out there.
She used an analogy I liked... "We tend to stick duct tape around our past and toss it under the bed... but even duct tape won't keep it away forever."
It is weird going in there and just unloading stuff... Once I get going it is healing, but it just feels weird coming in and unloading to someone I hardly know... But I feel like I don't have time to waste and need to get down to business... Surgery is around the corner and heck, I'm 52, so no time to waste on getting to know her! :)
She suggests I try writing letters to my past hurts, etc. I have done this before, years ago, after my first marriage and found it so freeing and healing... So, I working on that. Have much of the first one done, figure I have at least 2 more to write... at a minimum...
Today I have an appointment at 4... I look forward to them in a weird, sort of trepidation way!
Also, this am I got on my home scale... It has me at just under 300 lbs. I want to get real excited, but until it says that at the doc office and is official, I am not going to. It takes longer there cause I am of course wearing clothes! LOL! I just want my final weight prior to surgery to be under 300. And I think with the liquid diet just before surgery, that will NOT be an issue!
I was just looking at the calender.... I of course don't have a surgery date yet, BUT 8 weeks till my window opens for surgery!! I asked for a date between July 22nd and Aug 2nd. Bridgett, the coordinator, said she thought that was doable!!
On June 3rd I go see Erin (my nut) and provided I still have my #'s gone (which I will) she is going to schedule me for the nutrition classes. She already had me stick them on my calendar, said she'd make it official on the 3rd. WOOT WOOT!
And of course I received my letter saying the center had approved my surgery... Looks like they will ask my INS for surgery approval while I am in the nut classes....
Getting close and I am getting so excited and a bit scared! Its not the surgery I am worried about, been there did that! I know the post op will be a roller coaster ride for a few months, and I am good with that. Won't always be fun, but I know it will be normal... What worries me is post surgery problems with strictures, hernias and the like. I was just reading Debbie's post on having stricture upon stricture and pain with eating. I feel so bad for her... and worry I will have issues like that.
But none of that really matters... I am doing this. End of story! I HAVE TO lose weight and feel better to survive Grad school next year!!
She used an analogy I liked... "We tend to stick duct tape around our past and toss it under the bed... but even duct tape won't keep it away forever."
It is weird going in there and just unloading stuff... Once I get going it is healing, but it just feels weird coming in and unloading to someone I hardly know... But I feel like I don't have time to waste and need to get down to business... Surgery is around the corner and heck, I'm 52, so no time to waste on getting to know her! :)
She suggests I try writing letters to my past hurts, etc. I have done this before, years ago, after my first marriage and found it so freeing and healing... So, I working on that. Have much of the first one done, figure I have at least 2 more to write... at a minimum...
Today I have an appointment at 4... I look forward to them in a weird, sort of trepidation way!
Also, this am I got on my home scale... It has me at just under 300 lbs. I want to get real excited, but until it says that at the doc office and is official, I am not going to. It takes longer there cause I am of course wearing clothes! LOL! I just want my final weight prior to surgery to be under 300. And I think with the liquid diet just before surgery, that will NOT be an issue!
I was just looking at the calender.... I of course don't have a surgery date yet, BUT 8 weeks till my window opens for surgery!! I asked for a date between July 22nd and Aug 2nd. Bridgett, the coordinator, said she thought that was doable!!
On June 3rd I go see Erin (my nut) and provided I still have my #'s gone (which I will) she is going to schedule me for the nutrition classes. She already had me stick them on my calendar, said she'd make it official on the 3rd. WOOT WOOT!
And of course I received my letter saying the center had approved my surgery... Looks like they will ask my INS for surgery approval while I am in the nut classes....
Getting close and I am getting so excited and a bit scared! Its not the surgery I am worried about, been there did that! I know the post op will be a roller coaster ride for a few months, and I am good with that. Won't always be fun, but I know it will be normal... What worries me is post surgery problems with strictures, hernias and the like. I was just reading Debbie's post on having stricture upon stricture and pain with eating. I feel so bad for her... and worry I will have issues like that.
But none of that really matters... I am doing this. End of story! I HAVE TO lose weight and feel better to survive Grad school next year!!
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