JUST ANOTHER DAY BUT NO DOLLARS...

WELL, I AM VERY EXHAUSTED BUT DECIDED TO CATCH UP ON MY JOURNAL..MY DAUGHTER HAD HER SURGERY ON MONDAY AND FINALLY TODAY IS FEELING A LITTLE BETTER.SHE STILL HAS ALOT OF SWELLING AND SOME PAIN ,IF SHE DOESNT TAKE HER MEDS EVERY THREE HOURS.IT HAS BEEN VERY STRESSFUL ALONG WITH DEALING WITH EVERYTHING ELSE....MY ASSHOLE HUSBAND DID NOT GO OUT OF TOWN WITH US FOR HER SURGERY.HE WAS WORRIED ABOUT WHERE HE WOULD SLEEP AND IF WE HAD ENOUGH MONEY TO EAT...ARE YOU KIDDING ME...WHO THE HELL CARES!! OUR DAUGHTER SHOULD HAVE BEEN OUR ONLY CONCERN.THEN AFTER TWO HOURS OF SLEEP,DRIVEING TWO HOURS AWAY FOR SURGERY IN WHICH LASTED THREE HOURS,TWO HOURS TO CALM HER DOWN IN RECOVERY,SEVERAL HOURS LATER WE SETTLED IN HER ROOM.MY NERVES WERE SO RATTLED BECAUSE SHE WOULD NOT STOP CRYING AND WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN..I FIGURED ASSHOLE WOULD BE WAITING BY THE PHONE TO SEE HOW HIS DAUGHTER MADE OUT,BUT HELL NO..HAD TO GO PLAY WITH HIS BUDDIES.I FINALLY REACHED HIM AT 11:30PM DRUNK AGAIN...I WAS SO FRAZZLED AND I JUST NEEDED TO TALK WITH SOMEONE.I WAS UP WITH HER ALL NIGHT BEING IN PAIN,GIVEING HER MEDS AND ICEING HER FACE AND HIP.THE NEXT DAY SHE WAS TO SICK TO TRAVEL SO IT TOOK HALF THE DAY TO GET ON THE ROAD.WHEN WE GOT HOME,INSTEAD OF HAVEING A LOVEING FATHER AND HUSBAND THERE TO GREET US AND HELP OUT,MAYBE LET ME TAKE A LITTLE NAP,,HE TAKES OFF AND GETS IN AT 3:00AM THE NEXT MORNING AND YOU GUESSED IT DRUNK AND AN IDIOT.MAKEING COMMENTS ABOUT HOW BAD SHE LOOKED...SHE JUST TURNED TO ME WITH TEARS IN HER EYES AS I TRIED TO COMFORT AND REASSURE HER EVERYTHING WAS GONNA BE FINE.STILL INSTEAD OF HELPING HE TAKES OFF AGAIN WITH FRIENDS FIRST THING HE WOKE UP....THE FUNNY THING IS I WOULD RATHER HIM BE GONE BUT GONE FOR GOOD....WE DONT NEED THE AGRIVATION OF WHEN HE FINALLY DOES COME HOME DRUNK AND MEAN AND THEN GOES TO BED..HE IS SUCH A WASTE OF LIFE AND I AM SO TIRED OF BEING PULLED DOWN IN THE SHIT WITH HIM,DEEPER AND DEEPER EVERY YEAR WE ARE TOGETHER.I JUST FINALLY GOT DONE WITH GETTING THE HOUSE CLEANED BUT I STILL HAVE LOTS OF LAUNDRY.OF COURSE WITH NO HELP FROM HIM...SURPRISE,SURPRISE.I THINK THE COUCH IS FUSED TO HIS ASS ,UNLESS HES GONE WITH FRIENDS...I AM SO TIRED OF BEING LONELY AND DOING IT ALL.....HE DOESNT DESERVE HIS FAMILY OR TO LIVE IN THIS HOUSE I HAVE WORKED SO HARD TO KEEP FOR US...I AM STILL AWAITING NEWS ON SSD BUT ACUALLY GOT A CALL FROM A FRIEND THAT A LOCAL CLUB HAS BEEN GETTING SEVERAL RECCOMENDATIONS FOR THEM TO HIRE ME FOR THIER BARTENDER.THAT MAKES ME FEEL REALLY GOOD INSIDE BECAUSE I AM STILL IN PEOPLES MINDS AND THEY KNOW I AM GOOD AT MY JOB.I AM JUST SCARED BECAUSE SINCE MY ACCIDENT I KNOW I CANT DO EVERYTHING I USED TO BE ABLE TO AND TENDING BAR IS VERY DEMANDING ON YOUR BACK AND LEGS.THIS JOB OPPOURTUNITY WOULD BE JUST WHAT I NEED TO FINALLY BOUNCE BACK TO THE ACTIVE,OUTGOING AND INDEPENDANT PERSON I USED TO BE.BUT FROM PAST EXPERIENCE MY BODY WONT BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT AND I WILL BE JEPORDIZEING MY SOCIAL SECURITY CASE.......MY MIND SAYS JUST GO AND DO IT BUT THE LAST JOB I HAD I HAD TO HAVE FAMILY MEMBERS COME OUT TO THE CAR AND HELP ME IN THE HOUSE BECAUSE I WAS IN SO MUCH PAIN...WELL I AM SO CONFUSED...ITS JUST ANOTHER DAY WITH NO DOLLARS AND NOT ANYTIME SOON BY THE LOOKS OF IT......