just another day

not a lot happened today.. I'm not in a terrible mood, I was doing better before league.  I'm restricting again, because I saw my weight drop a little and I want to see more.  I know I shouldn't, but I can't get hungry when I know I'm losing weight.  I tell myself that once I hit a goal weight (a goal I've had for several years now) I'll try to maintain, but I don't think I'm going to be happy at that weight, because I'm 5 lbs away, and I still don't like the way I look.  I want to be able to enjoy life again, I love cooking and especially baking, and I don't let myself do either because I don't want the food to be around where I can easily get to it...
maybe tomorrow things will be better.