June 17th 2014 2:52 am

Okay well I haven't written in a bit. Don't wanna worry people so I keep it bottled up . But well. I am suicidal now. If I have to slap a label on it. Broke my 28 day clean streak. I am now currently 4 days clean and I found out my ex that cheated on me with my friend now has a new girlfriend who is prettier than me(his words) but apparently I am fat and not pretty anymore anyways because I shaved half my head and got a tongue ring. (Also his words). My hair will grow back and I can take out my tongue ring. I must have never truly been pretty in the first place. My scars are gone. I'll be sure to cut deeper next time. I have 10 days left so I gotta make it count.. It's goin to kill him when I leave so I'll have to make him hate me first.. I'm good at that. I have to push him and the few others who care away until they hate my guts and then no one will miss me. I'm tired if being a fat waste of space in this miserable life. I want to be with my baby Avie up in heaven. I miss her dearly. I'm tired of trying. I just want to give up. I fall asleep praying for death and wake up full of sorrow that I have to suffer through another day of pain and loneliness. I'm sorry I couldn't stay strong for you