Journal from last night

 and shouldn’t try to be something I’m not anymore.

It’s a reserve or a conservatism that has developed after all my life in therapy and mental health facilities and management.

 

I wish I had more connection to my imagination and so the desire for adventure. But again, being here at the monastery has been an ‘adventure in inner space’ rather than outer. 

 

I should probably get around to seeing the local galleries which I recently researched for job opportunities. I also should continue looking for work.  Exploring-wise there is a farm museum near here as well as a kids’ museum. It’s very rural here and so I’m a little at a loss when my therapist suggests going 'out there' and see things. There’s not a whole lot LOL. Where??!!

 

Tomorrow I have a free day. I’ll go to the gym and I’ll go out to lunch. Im grateful for my therapist saying candidly that detail about my hesitation to spend to get the airline ticket to see my family. My family is important and I think I’m just really experiencing a kind of fear over finances. I have been known to be cheap and in some ways it’s smart and in others it’s shameful.

I want to see my family. So I will arrange a ticket!