Journal entry

Just wanted to let you all know that I found out this evening that my oldest brother, Joe, passed away.  It is my youngest brother that has cancer so it was not him.  This has come as quite a shock to us all.  His poor wife went to check on him and she couldn't wake him up.  He had a really bad cough for about three weeks and even asked me one time a couple weeks back to take him to the doctor.  I got up the next morning and got ready but he said he didn't want to go.  We all couldn't convince him otherwise.  He has had some serious heart problems-two induced heart attacks, a seizure, and had a pacemaker.  He had an enlarged heart so they induced a heart attack to kill off some of the muscle.  All this has been going on over a period of about ten years.  Last Christmas he had gotten really overweight but through the year had lost about 100lbs.  His feet and legs were literally purple from lack of circulation.  His wife said that he had been up coughing all night long so she was letting him rest.  She checked on him about 10:30 and he seemed okay and she checked on him later that afternoon and that when she couldn't wake him up.  It has really torn my Mom up-we are all in a state of shock now.  I dread the funeral.  I won't be able to see my mom go through it.   Thank goodness she has her brothers and sisters-in-law.  I feel so bad for his poor wife.  Poor thing-she has had some health problems as well as some emotional problems.  She is somewhat "fragile" and thank goodness she has her sisters who she is really close to.  She kept telling mom she was sorry.... Thanks for letting me get some of this out-the hard part has just started.  Say a little prayer for us all.....