Journal entry
I know it has been awhile-Work has been driving me crazy. There was a shortage of inventory (cigaretts-yuck) at the store and the district managers had a "little talk" with the cashiers there. Me being one of them. I don't want to work someplace where my integrity is being questioned so the next day I was out hunting for another job. I didn't want to quit one till I had another. Well, I have another...It took about a week to find one so I will be starting it on Friday. Still in a convience store and hours that work for me and the kids.
Had to be in King and Queen Co. on the Monday the 12th for a mediation hearing. Me and my sister-in-law drove up on Sunday and got a room. The hotel had an indoor pool with hot tub-whoo! I got a good nights rest and got to the courthouse about ten minutes early. I wanted to be sure to get there before him. It was in a room off the courthouse and the waiting area was in the courtroom itself. Me and SIL was the only ones in there waiting till the mediator got done with another couple. So we are talking and in he walks. He stands with his hands on his hips and just stares at SIL wondering who she is. It kinda freaked her out, lol. I watched him for a few minutes and then I just turn my head and he walks out and gets a chair and waits outside. Not a word was spoken. Our turn comes and just me, him, and the mediator goes into the mediation room. The mediator tells us what is going on, how it all works, and says he has about a 87% success rate at a peaceful mediation where the families do not go to court. He asked who wants to go first and of course D speaks up and says he is not open to it and wants to go to court-that there are "others pulling puppet strings" and some other offensive (to me) things about how he didn't know where the kids were-if they were alive or dead and other crap. The mediator then looks to me and and asks me what I would like to say. I said that it is clear that this is not going to work and he says to just give him some compromise and maybe things might start to work out. I said visitation with me having custody. A week every other month and a couple of weeks during the summer. The mediator says that sound reasonable and looks over to D and ask him what he thought. D says "I find it very insulting and will not go for anything but court". The mediator just sighs and looks over at me and says that I am free to go. The whole process (not including the waiting) took about ten minutes. I had to be there at 9am and we were out by a little after ten. So about 400.00 dollars was spent by me-rented a car, hotel room, gas, food etc.....and that was it. It is going to take me a couple of months to pay off that credit card bill. But I had to do it. I will be doing it again it looks like and will do whatever I have to. A. is seeing a counsellor so those records will be called into play and the guardian ad litem will be assigned. He has opened a HUGE can of worms and started something that he is not going to win. Wait till I am awarded child support and support payments....I can't believe how much he hates me. Is it truly hate? Can he really hate me that much?
Out of all the mendacities, "I love you" was my favorite.
I know that he is not any good for me. Logically, I do. Oh, but my heart aches for him.....
Had to be in King and Queen Co. on the Monday the 12th for a mediation hearing. Me and my sister-in-law drove up on Sunday and got a room. The hotel had an indoor pool with hot tub-whoo! I got a good nights rest and got to the courthouse about ten minutes early. I wanted to be sure to get there before him. It was in a room off the courthouse and the waiting area was in the courtroom itself. Me and SIL was the only ones in there waiting till the mediator got done with another couple. So we are talking and in he walks. He stands with his hands on his hips and just stares at SIL wondering who she is. It kinda freaked her out, lol. I watched him for a few minutes and then I just turn my head and he walks out and gets a chair and waits outside. Not a word was spoken. Our turn comes and just me, him, and the mediator goes into the mediation room. The mediator tells us what is going on, how it all works, and says he has about a 87% success rate at a peaceful mediation where the families do not go to court. He asked who wants to go first and of course D speaks up and says he is not open to it and wants to go to court-that there are "others pulling puppet strings" and some other offensive (to me) things about how he didn't know where the kids were-if they were alive or dead and other crap. The mediator then looks to me and and asks me what I would like to say. I said that it is clear that this is not going to work and he says to just give him some compromise and maybe things might start to work out. I said visitation with me having custody. A week every other month and a couple of weeks during the summer. The mediator says that sound reasonable and looks over to D and ask him what he thought. D says "I find it very insulting and will not go for anything but court". The mediator just sighs and looks over at me and says that I am free to go. The whole process (not including the waiting) took about ten minutes. I had to be there at 9am and we were out by a little after ten. So about 400.00 dollars was spent by me-rented a car, hotel room, gas, food etc.....and that was it. It is going to take me a couple of months to pay off that credit card bill. But I had to do it. I will be doing it again it looks like and will do whatever I have to. A. is seeing a counsellor so those records will be called into play and the guardian ad litem will be assigned. He has opened a HUGE can of worms and started something that he is not going to win. Wait till I am awarded child support and support payments....I can't believe how much he hates me. Is it truly hate? Can he really hate me that much?
Out of all the mendacities, "I love you" was my favorite.
I know that he is not any good for me. Logically, I do. Oh, but my heart aches for him.....
Replies
sorry you had to make the trip and not getting anything settled . he has his mind set on court and there is nothing you can do about that but you hold all the cards , and yes you will get your child support and custody . you need that child support money to help raise your children , i\'m glad you found another job , i wouldn\'t have wanted to work in a place where i wasn\'t trusted .
i feel for you melissa , i know that your mind knows what is best for you but like you said your heart still aches for him . i understand how you feel and hopefully someday that will change . i love you . xoxoxoxoxox
The most angry I have EVER been on a job was the one time my integrity was ever called into question - for no reason by someone who didn\'t know me at all and just told my co-worker who I shared an office with \"Don\'t tell Sue because she might tell X.\" Like I couldn\'t separate my social life from my work life? Excuse me? Just ASSUME I can\'t be trusted? I know these things because my co-worker, who DID/DOES know me, came right back and told me everything LOL But BOY I was pissed! I\'m glad you found another job - they\'re not easy to come by these days. Funny how we often \"bounce\" into something that is actually better, and we wouldn\'t have even looked if we didn\'t work for jackasses - they actually did you a favor!
I\'m sorry he\'s not open to anything other than adversarial proceedings, but if that\'s what has to happen it just is what it is. You are in the driver\'s seat, and even moreso IMO now that you have shown yourself to be open to discussion and reasonable, and he has most definitely proven himself NOT to be.
It\'s time to work on detaching yourself from whatever he is feeling. Your only concern now is getting what you need to raise your children in peace and security. I know love and logic aren\'t good friends, but this is something you\'re going to have to do in order to move on. If you want to talk about it with someone who has \"been there\" PM me and we\'ll talk. I know how hard it is but I also know it\'s possible to move on and make a good life for yourself without looking back.