Joe and another rambling journal

I marked this entry as 'anxious'.  I am concerned about Joe.  He had a large blood clot in his leg in January.  He has been on anticoagulants (rat poison) since then.  His blood work has been coming back normal so the doctor said he could probably come of the meds.  Joe asked if he should have another ultrasound to see if the clot had actually absorbed.  The doctor wasn't too bothered but said he would order one.  Well Joe went yesterday.  He was late getting home (he went to the wrong clinic first) so I of course began to worry.  Actually I was close to a panic attack.  When he came in and said that he had gone to the wrong place and then had to wait, I felt much better.. until he said that the technician told him that he should go home as his doctor would likely be calling.  That is not good news.  The doctor never called so he called the doctor's office this morning.  He has an appointment for tomorrow morning.  I am not good with uncertainty.  
I woke up this morning at 4 to the call of nature.  Usually I go back to sleep but not this morning.  I could have used some Ativan!  I just feel agitated, despite the fact that we went to yoga last evening.  I would have thought I'd be mellow.
As for yoga.  We have the nicest teacher.  He lives in the building next door and offers classes for free.  My neighbour and I were invited to go as well.  I do feel better after class (but not today).
I have been weepier of late.  I think it is because December 1 is approaching.  It will be 6 years.  It was around this time in 2009 that Lisa and I started planning for her first Christmas back home in several years.  It was not to be. 
We were watching videos from years past and saw Lisa and Andrew growing up again.  Lots of tears but good ones.  It reminded me that she was a happy child.
Cevyn is doing well - she calls weekly now and we have good chats.  She is hoping to rent a townhouse with 3 other people.  Right now she is living with her friend and her mom.  I guess Nicole and her mother have a tense relationship so I think it will be good for both girls.  At least I hope so. 
I think Cevyn will come here for Christmas, a quick trip - she said she really wants to.  That will be our gift to her.  She hasn't been here to see Andrew and Tiina since last Christmas.  I asked if her dad and Beth are coming to spend Christmas with her family. Cevyn said she didn't know and hadn't spoken to her dad for a couple of weeks.  It is sad - they were very close.
Well now that I have gotten that off my chest, I guess should go and clean the kitchen.
Lisa:  I have gotten your  message - Live Laugh Love - you have made sure that I couldn't miss it!  I am doing my best.  I miss you always and love you forever, Mummy