Jealousy

Okay, jealousy is another one of those emotions that just make me sick.  It makes me sick to see it, it makes me sick to feel it.  Especially when I know I shouldn't.   By reading my previous posts, you can see that my H was gone away this weekend, for much longer than he originally said he was going to be.  Tonight was the first time I had seen him since he'd been back.  I was scheduled to work a long day today, so when I got home he was already here with the kids, getting them ready for bed.   That was when I saw a necklace around his neck.  He NEVER wears jewelry!  I couldn't see what actually hung from the necklace--that part was tucked under his shirt.  So when I asked him nicely where he got the necklace (should've been an innocent enough question, right?) he refused to answer.  I asked him if it came from another woman several times, and he finally said that it didn't, that he bought it for himself.  Still, he refused to let me actually see it.  The pit of my stomach is poisoned with jealousy right now.  I can't believe him about where it came from, yet why should I care?  He has already proven that he is a liar, a deceiver and a cheater.   So why can't I release myself of these feelings of jealousy?