< Back to malibumark's Journal

malibumark
Mood:  Ok

It’s weird

It's weird 


sometimes I picture the kind of life I'd like to have. Realistically with the few pleasures and treasures I can afford, I still wax romantic about building a life that is somehow connected to a romance 


vision. I suppose that's very young of me or maybe though, it is human to have a connection to an image which is somehow admirable and relatable to friends family and society as I go along and make each day.


Then I think of just crossing that hurdle. Of accepting and owning the life I have and just taking care of myself and my life as my focal point, place of pride and satisfaction and not some romantic aesthetic. The romance might be kind of something a 20 something might have before certain lessons of life are learned, of self responsibility and stuff.



i wrote this to my friend John:


Hi John,


 

I just wanted to be in touch. I’ve been transferred to Oklahoma for a little while.

I’ll be conducting services for the Holy Week here at St. Iakovos monastery.

 

Been struggling with a sense of control over my life, or the lack there of. But I’m choosing happy. I’m focusing on what I can control which ultimately is what we all have to do …and keep on keeping on.:) Have a great Easter. Love, Mark

He wrote back:


Hello Mark,


 

Happy Easter and Holy Week to you !!!  Keep on keeping on and always choose happy. Enjoy the adventures life gives us.

 

Love ya buddy, you got this


----

I really loved this exchange. It feels real that I've come to this hurdle in life of reactions and responding to the 'adventures life gives us.'

its a dynamic that helps me feel wise.
10
Leave A Reply

Replies

Everyoffyou
Everyoffyou

"It sounds like you’re going through a pretty deep reflection about where you are in life and what truly matters. I can see how the romantic ideals of youth might feel distant now, especially as you gain more life experience and start focusing on personal growth and responsibility. It’s interesting how life shifts like that. It’s easy to romanticize the past, but there’s something really powerful about owning your life and finding pride in who you are, rather than chasing an ideal. I think the way you’re seeing it now shows a lot of maturit
malibumark
malibumark

Thanks so much Shane!
Community LeaderMid
Mid

It's a balance with faith and romance. I have watched several of my close acquaintances go deeper into faith and question romance.

I asked one of them why romance felt different, and it was due to how their faith opened up how they truly feel within. I agree, you're in a place of healing, faith and moving through "keep on keeping on" as necessary.

Here's to you!
malibumark
malibumark

Thanks Mid! You are so kind!
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD

I hope that you enjoy leading services at Easter sweetie

What a special time of year to share Holy week with the congregation

I hear you visiting what may have been Marky

I think that we've all done that at times

I think the reason fantasies can be so strong at times is they are what our mind makes up thus they can seem so perfect

I think you are doing amazing!!!

Big hug...xo
malibumark
malibumark

Thanks Janet! You are amazing!!
mlr0853
mlr0853

Rock On My Friend!!! <3 Ya Got This??? no matter the 'switching tracks issues' you know what/how to bring yourself back to "Wise Mind" <3
malibumark
malibumark

Thanks Mary Louise!
arfie
arfie

i allow myself escape fantasies to balance my hard days. when the stresses of my romantically idealized life have me worn to a nub, i allow myself to imagine one of my roads not taken. today i am captain paducah, river pirate, and i am raiding an idyllic riverside monastery. i'm especially enjoying the show of chubby little monks run for their lives.

sigh. . .

do i really have to get back to reality? can't i just terrorize those chubby little monks into doing laundry for me? think i'll have them wash the windows and scrub the porch while i am at it.
malibumark
malibumark

Lolololol