Its Really Getting To Me- Krissy (Myself)
I find myself having too much time on my hands and starting to think too much. I am dwelling in a place of misery most of the time thinking about my childhood or middle school or high school. I am remembering dumb things I used to do when I wasnt so enlightened with what I know now. I have been having these thoughts lately and I am wishing I can just let them go. Why cant I just let these thoughts go?? They happened so long ago and I am no longer that person so why am I having to put myself through the agony of these thoughts?? Then after the thoughts, feelings start to arise. I start to feel bad about myself for the things I have done or the times I didnt stand up for myself and I start to get angry. I start to feel angry towards people sometimes and put up this wall so I wont get hurt again. I always have these thoughts though like I cant get over it. I wonder why or where is it stemming from?? Its really getting to me though. I dont have a job and I feel useless all the time. I dont want employers to see me as a working mule but a tool that they can collect and use. I am searching high and low and combing through the ads and websites like trying to get lice eggs out of a kids hair! To occupy my time I read books to better myself and my thoughts. I feel like thats enough for now since Im not making any money and cant afford Sherry (my therapist)
Replies
I know exactly what you mean ....for me I was lucky enough to get a job for the summer where I made good amount of money, oh boy! how i wished i worked there so permanently. It is indeed hard out there but it is possible. For me ,I\'m thinking about finding a place and organization locally in my area to join so I give some time to volunteering . I think its great that your reading books ...but keep trying. You could maybe look into volunteering somewhere that way your keeping people busy and that is a way to gain some networking. Because in life with jobs I have come to realize its who you know and you can gain connection.. maybe for a job..
i wish you well
oops, excuse my error where i meant keeping people busy i mean just to keep busy
WOW, I thought I was doing bad financially, but you\'re not by yourself, won\'t you try www.westathome.com ; www.convergysworkathome.com or jsut volunteer liek aries suggested don\'t beat yourself up about it. I dont work either but imma try working from home since I do school from home. I hope that everything will work out 4 your financially; But just keep on looking, keep me posted!