Its life

I feel weird today. After 10yrs I decided to leave Travis and move on with my life, it hurts. I am lonely and I feel that I am a failure. Although been lied to and constantly cheated have motivated me to to realize I have been lonely a very long time, it does not change the defeat within myself I feel. I wanna cry, I wanna punch something all at once. My feelings are hard to explain and even harder to understand. Travis constantly bothers me about getting back together but I do not and will not deal with him anymore. I'm of being treated as a toy and that HE operates me. My heart is weary, I have no one to talk with and have to be strong fro my children.