It’s incredible

You guys, I am so grateful for DS for my friends here and my walk in healing, health and management with everyone.

Yesterday, being outside of the monastery and being free to enjoy Edinburgh with no restrictions or responsibilities, I found myself knowing myself in kind of an idealized way. The spirit of life. I felt attuned to my emotions and feeling in a simple way. Last night the first dinner with my tour group went really well. I was open and talked more than I have in a long time after having been at the mostly silent monastery. Honestly after dinner I found myself suspect and embattled by feelings that I was not accepted by this new group. But in a small aspect of health I tried to tell myself that we all need to move forward in life even if we feel unliked, we all gotta pursue our lives, we deserve and have that life affirming thing. However this kind of darkness really self reinforced big time. When I came to breakfast contrastingly people could not have been nicer. I am so glad I could fix my perspective at that time. I have a darkness in me. In a weird way I've got to live with both. I'm realizing this aspect of myself , here on this trip, is very much a different context knowing the same vehicle of myself here in the outside world. As my friend the Eldress just said 

"A different prism on the same subject..."

 It's all coming clear to me. I have this rough energy but I know that's not the entirety to my self and we're all living with respect for each other as whole people.

I've met a few nice people. Im thinking about my friends on DS and the monastery too.

Have a great day you guys!!