Its comming to an end

I havent written in a while. I was living a fake life, seeing my seperated husband once a week just enough to keep me feeling okay.  After 3 years of having a fake relationship he made the move to file for divorce next week.  I know it is good, I will be able to live my life....but, the whole saftey net...its going to be gone.  It is a good move, a start I need to make, I am not even in love with him so why on earth am I making this harder than it needs to be.  Ugh!