Its been a while...

...since my last journal entry.  I have realized now the true nature of the the beast I am dealing with.  In truth, after determining what I need to know regarding my wife's "incident," I can barely define it as cheating.  There was no love, no physical touching, no sexual desire...  She talked to someone over the internet.  It was inappropriate, and I disagree with it, but based on the nature of our relationship at the time, and her intentions, and the fact that she told him to take a hike on her own when he tried to make it physical, I can only give her credit for her faithfulness (sounds odd doesn't it)? ... But the story doesn't end there.  Unfortunately I am coming to realize that most of my reactions... fear of abdonment, insecurity, guilt, a sense of life-threatening danger, anxiety and panic attacks, are not her fault.  It is PTSD, suffered for many years, and aggravated by the incident at hand.  How many times my wife has been a receptacle for my fears...