its been a long time
So, the last time I wrote I was pretty depressed. It hasn't really changed but I've been doing better. I still don't have the support from my family that I need to help me but being 21 and turning 22 in April, my parents are just trying to push me out the door. I'm sort of living on Tramadol right now because just when I think I'm doing fine, something goes wrong. I accidentally took 2 on my last dose, I wasn't paying attention to what I was doing. Which sounds bad, but I swear its only the first dose I've had since New Years. I've had too buy running shoes and not because I've started running but because they are a very comfortable shoe and I now understand why so many people wear them casually. Also, cause I'm not walking with a limp as much with them on, I have confidence while wearing them.
I'm having a little trouble in the relationship department also. I'm having a hard time admitting to my boyfriend of almost 5years that I want to move our relationship to the more adult zone. You know, like getting our own place and actually living together. Yes it's crazy we've been together for almost 5years and we don't even live together. Not engaged either. I also want to tell him I want children, he doesn't seem too keen on the idea hence why I'm having issues bringing it up. Also because he's never around long enough to have this sort of convo. I can't even get him to take me on a date anymore, so it's becoming a hassle. I just want to know where this is going and stop feeling like I'm a temp choice until he finds what he's looking for. Its just getting harder everyday to tell him I want to start trying for a family, yes its crazy and all but this is something I've wanted for awhile and it only became worse last year. Everyone around me is having or has had a kid/s and I'm still stuck in the same place as i was 5years ago. Well, I guess I should wrap this up. I suppose I should show my face on this, It's about time right? It feels great to be back on here and typing away. I feel like I'm right at home :*
Love and Spoons
-Speechliss
I'm having a little trouble in the relationship department also. I'm having a hard time admitting to my boyfriend of almost 5years that I want to move our relationship to the more adult zone. You know, like getting our own place and actually living together. Yes it's crazy we've been together for almost 5years and we don't even live together. Not engaged either. I also want to tell him I want children, he doesn't seem too keen on the idea hence why I'm having issues bringing it up. Also because he's never around long enough to have this sort of convo. I can't even get him to take me on a date anymore, so it's becoming a hassle. I just want to know where this is going and stop feeling like I'm a temp choice until he finds what he's looking for. Its just getting harder everyday to tell him I want to start trying for a family, yes its crazy and all but this is something I've wanted for awhile and it only became worse last year. Everyone around me is having or has had a kid/s and I'm still stuck in the same place as i was 5years ago. Well, I guess I should wrap this up. I suppose I should show my face on this, It's about time right? It feels great to be back on here and typing away. I feel like I'm right at home :*
Love and Spoons
-Speechliss
Replies
I\'m sorry this is the first time seeing your journal! I have many thoughts but don\'t feel I have the right answers. I do think it\'s good to ask yourself questions and try to truthfully answer them. (((HUGS)))