Its been a few days

Oh my gosh it seems to have been so long since I last had a journal entry I hate all of these family events and things because I feel so badly around then... like I am a failure. but I keep wondering tonight, what if I was to run away? I want to go to Praug. I just want to leave and never come back. I want to see what it would be like to now be here at home with my family. I think that I would like to have them be challenged to live without me lol, I dont want to hurt them though. I will write more in the morning.