It will be one year on Nov. 15th and I am dreading it.
It will be one year on Nov. 15th when Smokey died. I am dreading it. I don't know how I am going to react or what I am going to feel. I told Dave that in the next month I might be a tad more emotional since it will be Smokey's anniversary on November 15h. I gave him advanced warning. I could be a total basket case. I could cry more easily. I could do a million things but it is all guess work on my part.
I still have to deal with the car that is sitting in the apartment garage parking with storage insurance on it collecting dust. I might go thru it with one of the dusting things. I might also use windex on the windows. It needs a spruce up that is for sure. In the dust, I used my fingers to right "clean me."
The Letters of Administration is taking a long time. I hope to have it very soon. I think it is soon coming to an end. The lawyer needed the money for the probate fees. Once it is in probate, I hope the application is accepted and I get the Letters of Administraton. I also emailed the lawyer asking how much exactly will I have to pay her. I want to know. I am scared but I still want to know.
Monies tight with me. The Life Insurance lasted only so long. I keep money for the lawyer and the rest just for food. In Canada, I do get the CPP Survivor's Pension which is $507.00 per month. It pays my monthly bills. I am worried about the yearly bills that come up next year. I am still getting out my resumes after taking Excel Level 1, which I greatly enjoyed. I hope something positive comes out of all these things. I wish this aspect would flip around in a positive direction. I pray each day about my job situation. So far, my prayers have not been granted. I know God is not a magic genie but He is God. God can do anything He wants to in my life. I figure God took Smokey away. I figure God blessed me with Dave. I figure God can open the door for a full-time job for me as long as I get my resumes out. On Monday I was writing in my cheque book the current transactions that I did. I freaked out as it was getting below $3,000 mark. Dave came back and I was starting to cry so went to the bathroom to get myself in check. Dave asked what was wrong and was it him. I said it has nothing to do with you but I did not want to talk about it at the time. The next day Dave was miffed that I did not share what was going on with me. I finally did so he knows.
These are my troubles. I am doing the best that I can for myself. It will all settle down one way or another. We can panick, worry, fear and freak out alll we want, which does not help & just causes stress in our bodies. I am taking it one day at a time knowing I am doing the best under these circumstances.
These are my thoughts, feelings and opinions from Diane B.
I still have to deal with the car that is sitting in the apartment garage parking with storage insurance on it collecting dust. I might go thru it with one of the dusting things. I might also use windex on the windows. It needs a spruce up that is for sure. In the dust, I used my fingers to right "clean me."
The Letters of Administration is taking a long time. I hope to have it very soon. I think it is soon coming to an end. The lawyer needed the money for the probate fees. Once it is in probate, I hope the application is accepted and I get the Letters of Administraton. I also emailed the lawyer asking how much exactly will I have to pay her. I want to know. I am scared but I still want to know.
Monies tight with me. The Life Insurance lasted only so long. I keep money for the lawyer and the rest just for food. In Canada, I do get the CPP Survivor's Pension which is $507.00 per month. It pays my monthly bills. I am worried about the yearly bills that come up next year. I am still getting out my resumes after taking Excel Level 1, which I greatly enjoyed. I hope something positive comes out of all these things. I wish this aspect would flip around in a positive direction. I pray each day about my job situation. So far, my prayers have not been granted. I know God is not a magic genie but He is God. God can do anything He wants to in my life. I figure God took Smokey away. I figure God blessed me with Dave. I figure God can open the door for a full-time job for me as long as I get my resumes out. On Monday I was writing in my cheque book the current transactions that I did. I freaked out as it was getting below $3,000 mark. Dave came back and I was starting to cry so went to the bathroom to get myself in check. Dave asked what was wrong and was it him. I said it has nothing to do with you but I did not want to talk about it at the time. The next day Dave was miffed that I did not share what was going on with me. I finally did so he knows.
These are my troubles. I am doing the best that I can for myself. It will all settle down one way or another. We can panick, worry, fear and freak out alll we want, which does not help & just causes stress in our bodies. I am taking it one day at a time knowing I am doing the best under these circumstances.
These are my thoughts, feelings and opinions from Diane B.
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