It snowed today

Any moments that should create memories do not. Instead these moments just remind me of what use to be and how hollow out marriage is now. The shock of the way our marriage has transformed to just strangers hanging out hasn't left me yet and I always want to cry about it, at least 3 times a week, or I actually do cry about it, one a week. Again....how and why are we here...will it stay like this always. There are moments when I want to fight him or just yell at him and but for what.