It's that time of the year again
Good morning to my sisters. I don't know where to start this morning. I have been up since 5:30. My mind will not let me rest. I started going down hill on October First. I got up fine. Got ready for work and on the way the tears started. As I was riding I was thinking here I go again five more days for Josh's birthday and just few more months for the nine year mark. I pulled myself together before I was at the office. No need for makeup that day. Here is the fourth and now I have two more days before that special day. I know I have the strength to make it. But after all of these years it is still hard on these days. One thing that is keeping me good is knowing I will be getting some really hugs this week at the retreat. Already have my suit case out. Going to start getting clothes out today.
I know another problem is missing my mama. This is will be the first holidays without her. Her birthday is December second. As most of you know my mama drove me crazy at times, but I would give anything to have my phone ring one more time and hearing her voice.
One more problem is my nephew Drew. You guys know he is my heart strings. I love him so. Brian (my brother) told him yesterday Drew has been caught smoking Pot. He turned 16 in May. Thinks he is grown. This has really been on my mind heavy. I can't believe it. But shouldn't be surprised. Drew's parents has problems. Yes even my brother. Brian's and Amy split years ago. She is a drunk. Lost her good job because of it. Drew has had to look after her these years. Something a child should never do. Brian is trying to do better. He has not had a drop of liquor since July. He still likes his beer but that is ok. When he drinks the hard stuff he becomes a different person. He smokes pot was well. So there is no wonder Drew has started down this path. But he knows the difference between right and wrong. He is a good kid. I am afraid since he has his license now something bad may happen. Pray for Drew gets back ont he right path.
I know I don't come by here much, but I love you all and don't know where I would be if I didn't have you and FMO to go to. People that understand. Hope you have a peaceful and blessed Sunday.
I know another problem is missing my mama. This is will be the first holidays without her. Her birthday is December second. As most of you know my mama drove me crazy at times, but I would give anything to have my phone ring one more time and hearing her voice.
One more problem is my nephew Drew. You guys know he is my heart strings. I love him so. Brian (my brother) told him yesterday Drew has been caught smoking Pot. He turned 16 in May. Thinks he is grown. This has really been on my mind heavy. I can't believe it. But shouldn't be surprised. Drew's parents has problems. Yes even my brother. Brian's and Amy split years ago. She is a drunk. Lost her good job because of it. Drew has had to look after her these years. Something a child should never do. Brian is trying to do better. He has not had a drop of liquor since July. He still likes his beer but that is ok. When he drinks the hard stuff he becomes a different person. He smokes pot was well. So there is no wonder Drew has started down this path. But he knows the difference between right and wrong. He is a good kid. I am afraid since he has his license now something bad may happen. Pray for Drew gets back ont he right path.
I know I don't come by here much, but I love you all and don't know where I would be if I didn't have you and FMO to go to. People that understand. Hope you have a peaceful and blessed Sunday.
Replies
dear Rhonda... these days are so hard... you and your family have my prayers.... love and hugs,,,,so wish I could be giving the real hugs this weekend.... maybe next year....
Tight hugs. I hear you. It will be Lisa\'s 6th Angel Day on December 1. I always get emotional prior to special days. I tell myself it is just a day, but I don\'t convince myself!
Hopefully Drew is not on the sippery slope. It is good he has you in his life.
See you at the retreat!!
Our hearts and minds are wired on a deep cellular level for these days... It matters not how busy we keep ourselves, how we try to talk ourselves into that this is \"just another one\" it all hurts and is so terribly sad... The longing and the missing is acutely felt every day and then on these days... Well, I truly think this is when our warrior woman is to be honored and tended to so very gently.
Honestly, my friend... Each time I see a highway pick up I think of you and your Josh and imagine you doing the same.
Prayerful for Drew that he can get back on the right path and what he needs are tools as addiction is such a powerful disease and not one that he chooses, yet one that he has to learn how to live with. Talking about it openly, not in shame and seeking tools for help whether it\'s rehab, counseling, a church pastor, getting involved with sports, school clubs... Just something that is more powerful than the drugs that can help show Drew that there is another way to live his life.
My heart is with you dearest friend and get ready to receive the best (((hugs))) ever. I will miss giving you one this year, yet am hopeful for 2016.
Love YOU,
XO Joanie
Im hugging you extra tight right now Rhonda as you are going through some especially fragile days. Grateful that you came here to share as we understand your broken heart.
So hoping that as Drew navigates through those difficult teen years, that he will see & feel the loving way to go. You are such a kind caring aunt.
Can\'t wait to see you at the retreat....we are long overdue for some hugs.
Love you my sister of the heart.
Vicki
Know that I too am sending really tight hugs to support your heart in the coming days. Knowing you will come out the other side somehow helps doesn\'t it? But it still hurts.
Drew / teenager / raging hormones / Mom and Dad had and have issues / smoke pot / drivers license. OK, without knowing the kid personally, just the simple issues would lead me to see the potential issues. Smoking pot, is for me, (and no I haven\'t smoked it in years) not a real issue on it\'s own. The real issue is the teenaged brain.
You can be a pillar in his life right now. You can not make decisions for him but you can be the voice of reason. Love him, know that this too will pass but also don\'t be afraid to be blunt. Tough love is the hardest but he\'s not playing kid games any more so can\'t be treated like a kid. He will thank you later.
Tightest of hugs my friend,
Merrilee
So much to deal with at once..pack, repack and pack again, just to focus on a positive..see you soon
I think that once we start \"thinking\" it is hard to stop...so maybe you should just go through it all...then let it out however it feels right to you. Saying it out loud here may be one of the ways to release the intensity of all the emotions.
With the loss of your mom, many of the emotions for Josh are probably bigger this year...hard to distinguish exactly what is causing what emotions. But you can just feel what you feel.
I hope and pray your nephew will find his way...miraculously many do. Love to you my friend and I am so glad you and John will be at the retreat!!
Just typed a whole response, hit add comment, poof it is gone. Just hugging you close as you go through these tough days.
Happy birthday to Josh!! Rhonda I am with you as Bretts Angel date is 10/14 and his birthday is 11/1. I am so glad to be going on the retreat and so excited and nervous to meet everyone. May we find peace and sending you tight (((hugs))) until we meet.
Xoxo Cindy
Oh those dates can bring us back to so many emotions, they all seem to flood us at once sending us into almost a panic. Somehow we get a grip and manage but it takes some time to gain some composure. Sending tight hugs to you during this difficult time and prayers for Drew. Leda
Rhonda, these days are hard on our hearts for sure. I so wish Josh could be physically here with you...and missing your mom too. Its a lot of pain & heartache to deal with.
Prayers for dear Drew. Its nice he has a sweet auntie to care about him.
Love to you and Josh, Linda