It's not fair but I compare every man by Smokey!

It's not fair but I compare every man to Smokey.  Smokey was the love of my life and my soul mate.  It was not fair that my heart was taken from my body when Smokey died.  I am dating Dave for four months now.  It's not fair but I compare what Dave does or doesn't do to my Smokey.  It is a horrible thing for me to do.  It doesn't matter how long it has been or who I am dating but I will always do it - make the comparisons.  When you have had the best in the world that God has given to me, you can't help make the comparisons.  I wish I could stop doing it as it is not fair to Dave or any man in my life.  I want to stop doing it but my mind has a thing of its own.  It makes the comparisons all the time.   Its tearing me up in side as no one can compare to my Smokey.  He stands head above any crowd in the world.  Every man absolutely fails in comparison.  I wish I could stop.  It's not fair to any man in my life.  I still miss Smokey so very much.  I wish he were here but alas he is not. 
Today I am home with the cold, cough and flu.  I feel absolutely rotten.  I still went for my job interview.  I thought it went well for a 3 month temp job.  We shall see.  I told Dave I was still sick and decided to stay home alone.  Usually Dave picks me up after his work.  He always cooks dinner, watch TV and go to bed.  Dave drops me off at home in morning on his way to work.  Its working for us so far.  I have to take care of myself and my own health.
All the best to everyone and thank you for being here for me, which I grealty appreciate and your hugs & opinions as well from Diane B.