it's hard to see through the negativity

I woke up feeling ok today, which is good. I definitely feel better than I was feeling a few days ago.
Part of what makes depression so hard is that the depression clouds your perspective. You can't tell from one day or week to the next whether or not you're really doing any better. The cloud that hangs over you tells you otherwise. I'm lucky that my fiance is so supportive and talks me through things more or less every day. He is able to pick up on things that I don't notice: I've been talking more to him, I'm talking less about the negative voices that cloud my moods, I'm doing things that are funny again.
So I'll tuck those bits of positivity away for when I'm feeling down again and try to remember that it seems, to him at least, like I'm getting a little better. Hopefully I'll start to believe that I'm getting better and use that belief to fuel me forward.
I'm just cautious since every day still seems so hard. But I have to admit, some days have been less hard and that is definitely something.
I still wake up with a slight sense of dread at what the day ahead holds. I'm not sure if I can make it through ok, but then I do. I hope that I'm not stuck, but try to push out the worry of things I cannot control. 
It's been really hard to go for walks lately. I think it's a combination of the awful weather and the fact that it gets dark so early. That and the fact that I wasn't feeling very good overall the middle of this week. I'm nervous about the walk we're going to take today. I hope I feel up to it and that I can get through it. I feel like I've been slipping backward in that regard. I'm lucky I have someone to literally take me by the hand and walk me through.