It's always the hardest when you really cared

a real bad couple of days. Got dumped by my finacee, because "it just isn't going to work out between us" i went to my friend who's been spiking my suicidal thoughts to get some help, and she was a real bitch about me asking for some help finally. she'd rather watch a movie than help me this one fucking time?
i obviously do not have a friend when i need one the most.
trying to make new friends, by talking to people i am interested in but there's always something that gets in the way. Always. gonna try talking to this brunette guy who looks pretty cool. just gotta catch him away from his girlfriend.
i want to get rid of it; everything out of my thoughts. why am i never good enough for the people i care about most? why is it that i'm better at failing? no matter how hard i try; god's gonna keep pushing me down. not religious; he's just someone to blame at the moment.