It's Akathesia

Today I went to the ER to see a doctor, and she concluded I have akathesia and gave me some anti-Parkinson's drugs to help. I'm not sure I want to be on this Neurontin anymore, since I think that's what's causing the shaking. It's the only new drug I'm on, so I don't know what else could cause it. I've already thought of almost every possibility it could be, and come up empty. They did talk with the psych on duty there and he agreed it's probably akathesia. I got a shot of the anti-Parkinson's drug, and my legs are still shaking. Granted they are getting better for the most part.. I judge at night when I'm doing my journal since I'm pretty distracted and so my legs shake freely. The shaking is getting better, though, and that makes me happy. I've just been going crazy with all this shaking going on. Can you blame me? My knees are feeling better, meaning my shaking at night is getting better. I've just been really tired all day today.
I slept like crap last night. I kept waking up every hour or so and was having trouble staying asleep. Most of the night I was half-awake it feels like. I know I didn't get a lot of the deep sleep because I was waking up all the time just when I'm supposed to hit REM. I'm having trouble thinking right now... I guess I'm more tired than I thought. I hope I sleep tonight... I really need it. I'm going to try and drop off some stuff tomorrow as well as getting my pills. I have to take the bus everywhere tomorrow, so it sucks. I have to go to the middle of nowhere on the bus and get my birth control stuff taken care of. I know that I have to get it done soon, since I'm going to be needing my next Depo shot right before I go to LA. It's $50 without insurance for me, so I would love to get my Medicaid for just birth control taken care of. I'm always worrying about money and medication. The two M's for me. Money and medication. It seems that I can't live without either one.
Mood today was okay... I was fine at the ER, but I'm not putting good since I have been super tired all day with a migraine that only partially went away with Tylenol. In the ER I just sat and watched TV the whole time when they weren't poking me. My body didn't want to give up any blood today. They had to stick me 5 times to get the blood drawn. Normally it's really easy to get blood from me, but not today. I don't mind needles, so it wasn't a big deal to me. Just annoying because I like being cooperative, but my body wasn't cooperating today. So I have a bunch of holes poked in me today. Not fun, but what can you do? They needed the blood for tests to see if there was something wrong. They also tested my Depakote levels, and they were low. I just started taking it again, so it's supposed to be low. No big deal on that one.
Stress today was moderate. I was stressed in the ER because I didn't really want to be there. I was stressed out on the bus on the way there because it was taking forever to go it's route (it started on time but ended up being 15 minutes behind when I got to my stop) and the bus was crowded on the way back. It was standing room only, and I had to stand. I wasn't too happy about that, but I was just happy to be on my way home. I got my exercise in today, as well, by walking to the bus and back, and walking from the ER to a farther bus stop. Walking and moving my legs is how I get relief, so I'm glad I got my walking in today. I don't like being in crammed buses, but I don't think anyone likes it. Luckily it was a quick ride from the hospital to the transfer spot. It took about 15 minutes, so that's not that bad. Food today was okay... I'm super low on calories, even with ice cream, but that's because I wasn't feeling too well or hungry today.
I'm going to move my goal of getting healthy up a bit. I've been doing great on losing weight, so I want to show that on my goal ticker. I'm getting closer and closer to 200 pounds, which is where I want to be to show that I'm getting more healthy. At first I didn't want it to be about me losing weight, but it's a great way for me to show that I am trying to get healthy. I didn't want the focus to be on losing weight, but getting healthy. I'm making better food choices and going for my walks, so it's the best I can do. I just do the best I can. It's hard with all these setbacks, but it's okay overall. I'm getting better at losing weight, so I don't have to worry about being anorexic again. I would hate for that to happen.