it never ends

last night I kind of unraveled - and exposed my underbelly and it destroyed my sense of center.

I kept to my regular schedule of watching the shows I normally watch - and though I liked them

I felt kind of detached - went out this morning got a coffee - and still not better.

I wrote about finding inspiration from a book on Coach Wooden by Kareem Abdul Jabbar -

and I feel as though I have become obsessed "in the way" of things. Thank god I am not too religious...
I just have to keep going and deal with the day - though I feel kind of detached.. and just flawed

Writing here in the journal helps me 'get it out' but I think for people like us - we'd gladly trade for

a more stabile, predictable and promising life.