it is so easy......

to get drawn into a funk.  i think the funk hangs out on every corner in my home.  it whistles blues......it kicks rocks around......the rocks ping my soft exterior and when i am not looking it smiles.
the funk is right there waiting......."that's right" funk says, "the world is NOT YOUR oyster.  come here and we will drum up noise, emotion and general muckraking"
........it doesn't make me feel better.......it is very alluring.  seductive.......sly..........sometimes i'm on it, i say leave me alone.  i only have a little bit of energy, it is not what i need to do today.  i need it for self-care......i need it for peace of mind.  when i first met funk i thought it was cool........vent about the injustices and all that jazz.  vent and vent and vent.  there is nothing wrong with venting and we all need to VENT.  if it is a steady non-stop ventdiet daily and you are very sick and in pain it will create major havoc within you.  the body needs balance.  needs it...............................................neeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeds it.
like air, water, soft places to land.
this morning i find myself so tired.  white sky in my brain kind of tired........so much white that nothing much else can stick.  the ultimate bad blonde (formerly, now gray) joke.  maybe we should call this the teflon disease.......nothing sticks for long in the cerebral places.  i don't know.
sorry, there was a point a really long time ago........what was it?
i was surf reading at DS and read a couple of messages from those who have discovered ways to pace and cope with illness offered up to the new kids on the block.  those messages helped me forge past my white veil of exhaustion this morning.......past the funk whistling blues.............i rolled back in my chair and got the broom.  i took my own sweet time and swept the floor.  i feel better because i did this one thing......sitting down, rolling around in my soft padded chair.  good.  good for me.  yay.
truly feel better.  it helps to do small things and then recognize the accomplishment.  it is healing and spirit lifting.  it gave me my first smile of the day.  smiles are golden. "i did it all by myself.  i did it with purpose."  O.T. is good for the soul when you can, when you can't it's equally good to practice permission therapy......permit yourself to be ok when you can't.  it is ok i promise........it is OK.
laughing, earlier this spring i bought a lighter angled broom that has a smaller dustpan (than my longtime big corn broom and big dustpan).  it is so light..................light anything is good.  i got it at the dollar store, it was $4 for the set.  and it hangs up.  i know this sounds so usual, so normal........yes i know these things existed, i didn't get them cause i had stuff that worked.  now the big corn broom helps me in the garage.......
so my 2nd point is this.....if there are chores that you want to do or could do more easily if they were lighter, better fitted for your conditions try to allow yourself to do it when you can afford it.  it's ok to get them.  i like to squeeze the very last bit out of the tooth paste tube......so trust me i like to save money.  but sometimes we can say yes.
customize the tools you use (when you can) for the life you have now.
i never did bake this week.  i did not wash or hang drapes.  I did do good things though.  i ate healthy meals........last night is kind of iffy.  I made some popcorn.....i divvy it into containers for later.  anyhoo i took some home made ranch dressing and dipped the popcorn one wee bit at a time into the dressing while i watched the opening ceremony for the Olympics.  it sounded good to me and it was.  maybe everybody does this, maybe nobody does this.......but since i rarely get out to shop it has caused me to try some things........i figure they have a 50/50 chance of success right?
i am working my energy levels up to vacuuming.  soon.  only the bedroom carpet and the area rug in the living room.  i try to break it down.  the way i turn things to my advantage.  when i first woke up i thought of all these things not being handled and that knocked me facedown on the sand.  that's the funkmaster at work.........pulling me into the ocean for a swim and then launching my poor weak tired old bones onto the hard packed sand and i swear funk laughs.........the ocean and the white noise in my head try to drown it out...............but i digress.
when i slow it down, break things down i can begin again.  when i can --- i try, when i am not up to it i wait.  there are a lot more yellow lights than green.........but  i can proceed with caution and i can stop. 
stop is something i've gotten very good at.  i can stop for days..............the polar opposite of the old me who hated to stop, who loved to push and strive.........many times for some version of perfection.  that was silly......i am so much more relaxed now. 
still like clean and tidy, but not driven to do or die. now it's do and take time.................to smell the roses.  to see the details.  to realize that life is never boring because there is always something going on.  we just have to slow down and take the time to look........see what is happening around us.  we can all be jedi masters of this.........we have the time.
i don't ever remember saying i was bored as a child.......too much/just enough imagination?  And we had a lot of things to do in a big family......activities/chores.......always a 3 ring circus.  seems like a little planet beginner was always escaping the bath nekked, running around giggling........our house was a zoo.  one sib liked to race around in the birthday suit PLUS her beloved shoes.  hated having that first pair of shoes taken off.  remember those?  sturdy white leather up around those chubby baby ankles?  polishing shoes on saturday to get ready for sunday church.  the shoe polish with the application brush, it looked like a soft round cotton ball and inevitably polish would drip........drifting along in memoryville.  they were little.......one and two.......funny little angels.
sorry i don't have a clue what i am talking about.......i am sleepy and in need of protein.  time to roll closer to the frig.  not a very good walking day.........rolling chairs are awesome. 
i need a haircut.....if i wait much longer i'm going to have to follow my sister's commitment to donate hair to locks of love.  my daughter has done this a few times and my sister just did it.......she donated 12 inches of hair...........good on her.  she sent me the photos of her hair parted into two long pigtails......and then a pic of her swinging the two long bunches of hair.  Go GIRL!  she's a funny one.  she has naturally curly chocolate hair.....it will make a lovely wig.  out of five siblings, she is the only one with dark hair...........and dark eyes.  the rest of us were/oops still alive ARE blonde and blue........funny and true.  it overjoyed my dark haired, dark eyed dad to no end...........he used to joke that he finally beat the mailman.......even funnier because our Dad was a milkman.......good grief, yes, I am THAT OLD!  So old that my Dad's career delivering milk door to door no longer exists.  My Mom's first mode of transport to her first job after graduating from college was HER HORSE.  Yup she rode her one horsepower horse to the little white schoolhouse after receiving her teaching certificate from Iowa State Teacher's College. (which later became UNI, Univ. of Northern Iowa)
old is good.......old is alive and in truth i'm mostly child with silvery gray curls.......take care, kitties say hello to you and your pets..............meowwwwwwwwwwww.  i'm trying to teach them how to do the penguin high five.........very slow going.  hugs!
(penguin high five is when you put your hands with others in a circle and do a super soft slap quickly.....(watch penguins during a meet and greet lol).....laughter is a part of the deal.......little kids love it.  this little kid does.........penguin high five coming your way......................hugs.