it comes and goes

just a quiet day here but i have to say my moods make it seem a lot less

quiet than it actually is. this is something i am learning at work while i work

as well. my mood may be like a grouchy oger inside but people around me are

mostly happy and doing their work, chipper, and my mood is not about what they think of me...make sense?

i have been trying to just keep on keeping on. my family doesn't know why i keep to myself so much...

but i have to say it's pretty dramatic 'in here' and not in a good way and that kind of influences my bravery and

inspiration to go out there.

i wrote my psychiatrist to see if there's a prn I could take.

I want to say though once I wrote this passage, I calmed down some and went out and got the mail.

I stopped and played with a neighbor's dog as she was walking it. 

It really comes and goes but I'll keep at it. :)

Replies

beckyp
beckyp

That's anxiety for you. It comes and goes sometimes. I, too, sometimes have to "fake it" at work. I will say to myself, "smile and put on your happy face" as I go in the door. Hang in there, Mark!
malibumark
malibumark

Thanks Becky!
Deckard
Deckard

Hang in there Marko I'm having my moods too.
malibumark
malibumark

thanks Chris!
StarBrightGal
StarBrightGal

That’s so sweet that you stopped and played with a neighbour’s dog,
Laurie.
malibumark
malibumark

thanks Laurie!
Community LeaderSunCloudJD
SunCloudJD

I'm glad you wrote your doctor sweetie.... I hope something positive comes from it and I hope that you have a wonderful time away.... Big squishy hug.....xo
malibumark
malibumark

Thanks Jan!!! It was a good break! Now back home and catching up! :) x
Deckard
Deckard

Coast to coast man! Hehe.... teasing. Hope you had an enlightening travel.
malibumark
malibumark

Thanks Chris. I really liked it. There's a sense of order and community about the place that helped me deal with my issues
better.... But I kind of missed home and I missed my friends and family. There's no perfection - but I realized without a kind of hierarchy like the one that existed at the monastery, I start to slide back into the picking apart of my own mental world.
Good to know I guess!! It's good to be back!!!