it came back

My online diary came back. Not sure why it was gone in the first place, but it is back now.
I had been going to the outpatient treatment for 4 weeks, wasn;t getting any better. I decided to go inpatient to see if they could do something more for me. It was a mockery of health care. They were supposed to have me on an eating disorders program as well. We had two groups a day, at an hour each. That left the rest of the day to sleep, lay in bed, and wallow in my misery.
Don't they get it? I was seeking help, treatment from them, because all I do is lay around feeling miserable. They did nothing to help. My meds are all changed up, I just realized I am going to run out of my Abilify by Sunday, and no idea if I will be able to relay the message to my doctor...I do not want to find out what it is like to come down off of 30mgs Abilify in one day.
I feel like crying now. I need my meds. And I am feeling so much self hate, and I can't find a new therapist.
Damn, I guess it was a bad day. I just didn't know until now.
I am trying so hard not to purge, didn't today.
At least I have that.

Replies

deleted_user
deleted_user

sorry for the difficult time. wish u feel better. it is hard to worry about meds. u should have your meds. hope u get them. i know how it is when u go in for help. it\'s not the best. i hope u pray a lot and i\'ll try. take care, sorry
warmheart
warmheart

Thats not the only ting you have....You have beauty, a great heart, talent to write and so many other gifts that this world needs. Dont ever give up.