Isolated myself again fri Mar 8, 2019

OK this is hard to write as i didn't really want to do it but i said well maybe this will help . I don't care about anything again. Apt is a shambles as usual, my feet are killing me. Got some of my meds yesterday, have to wait till mon to get the rest, good thing i have a surpluse. Took my eve med earlier because i'm so deppresed and down. It's supposed to thunder storm tommorow and they scare the bejesus out of me as i am on the top floor, i see the lightning right up close. Charged my cell in case my electric goes off tommorow. I am terrified of thunder storms, already worried about it. I just want to be alone and waller in my own sorrow's but i know if i didn't writhe this now i never would. So i have to change my mood to bad think i'm making myself sick. B.F. want's to come and get me Sunday and i don't even want to go out there. Gained more weight, of course. Foood has become my comfort, guess i'm a foody ha i made a funny. I feel like the only person who feel's like this although i know that's not true. OK maybe i'll go to my anxiety group, may make me feel better. I don't even want to see or talk on phone to anyone that's why i vent on here alot when i'm up to it. OK that's all i got i guess .......Hugs