islands of hope, time brings winds of change

I had a very good morning, midday, and afternoon.

It was the kind of day where ...- well not just any kind -...

the day seemed significant, I learned some valuable lessons.

For one a new thought was this....I decided NOT to constrain myself to the power of 

an image in my life. In other words, not having the nervous and strict sense of needing

to follow a pattern (seeing a form and filling it.) That impulse may have given me a sense of 

companionship or reassurance along the way of getting on with my day, it now seemed

inadequate for the empathy and humanity at hand and in demand.

I was motivated to open my heart and mind to to considerations beyond

the perfunctory and expected. It helped me see the humanity of things.

The mix of it all feelings and a sense of the wholeness of the world beyond my nose.

The clarity brought a sense of the gestures coming at me and the gestures I was making as well.

Early in the morning, I went and saw my brother for an early morning coffee in Venice Beach.

We took a great mile long walk to the "Cow's End Coffee House." 

Along the way I just felt more open to accepting my brother for his humanity

for his 'whole self', to put it in abbreviation.

We talked and sparred verbally and laughed and he pushed me around in

a joking way - and it was all good. I felt just able to just see that we were

both coming from different vantages and at moments we each might have

had moments of discomfort, I know I did, but then I got back to understanding

my humanity and our humanity - and so it gave me the 'placement of my feet back on the ground' so that
I could steady myself with a sense of calming down 'on the fly.' To explain, once upon a time I might have

let that kind of incident make me spiral uncontrollably and bunched up psychologically.

Anyways, I came home and enjoyed the rest of the day. I was in bed

settling down for the night and I got a phone call, that unsettled me to put it succinctly.

I lost my sense of ease and assurance and to cope. After hanging up

I started to read an email again that I sent to my therapist this afternoon.

My email seemed so blindly ideal and naive after this phone call upset me so...

The email just seemed to talk about healing and healthiness in the sense that
I had 'finally figured it out'.... 

Though emotionally and psychologically I still feel the repercussions of the 'bad call'

I am also recognizing that there's always going to be some change in my day and in myself....

The strength to find my sea-legs again is crucial.

So that email I wrote to my therapist could be seen as like a wonderful inspiring moment - like an Island of Hope.

Then the winds of change and time happen and can come back to my day with mighty currents and might rearrange me and my sense of calm. It happens.

What helps though is reading my thoughts in my journal (I'll remember that now)

and also coming on the site to sort it all out (I'll remember that too now) - it helps uplift my consciousness and forces cognition

to come to a separate peace. :)

Have a good night